Meredith..your 5 years continuned.

[tpaschal]

Something my C said yesterday keeps whirling through my mind.

I said "Why can't I stop loving him." He said because in your heart of hearts (which he said "i hate htat saying") but he said in your heart you are not willing to see that H is bad for you. AND he is right on. He said, the way he is right now he is not good for anyone... What was interesting was how FAST my mind started to defend him. Immediately it saw all of the "good stuff". BUt what my C brought up was something totally different it was the "CORE" being stuff. He said, he isn't willing to be comitted to a relationship, not willing to be held accountable..and a couple other things. NOTHING About him in the light of which I see him. YET HE WAS RIGHT ON>

All my heart chooses to see is what the ow is seeing. AND that is not the CORE of who he is. Even yesterday, the things he said in reference to her and the R with her. So SELF SELF SELF centered. AND THAT is not good for anyone AND I deserve better.

Wow. I see a lot of myself in this. My L even told me that H won't need a lawyer because I keep making the case for what a good guy he was.

I think that's the problem. I have a problem remembering that the good guy was in the PAST. The man that's here now is NOT a good guy, he is the MLC monster.

I have a question---what do you mean that you see him in the same light that the OW sees him? Do you mean because he's being charming and wonderful to her, the way he used to be with you?

And maybe I missed a few posts---what self centered comments did your H make about his relationship with the OW? Do you mean about it not being about her? Just want to make sure I'm understanding where you are coming from!

I like your counselor. He makes some great points.