have you ever had the balls to just say fuckit! to tell her that this is the way things are going to be and tell her friend to piss off and just lay down the law and tell her you want this marriage to work and we are going to do this together. she needs to see you arent going to fold and be a wimp.thatg you mean business. no more mr nice guy. well you know what i mean not to be an [censored] either but no more bullshit. it seems to me that you have always given in to her and she takes advantage.
I hear your point. At this time 'telling her' isn't going to go over very well. She is acting like someone in MLC. And, the blowback isn't really something I can deal with right now.
What I CAN do (and will) is start talking in positives and take some damn control over the situation. She knows I set boundaries she needs to observe while she's still living here. She needs to see that I'm taking care of business and that I expect her to be part of that while she is still living here.
I have a really good counselor who knows W pretty well. She feels like W needs to really see what it's like to not have me so she can appreciate what it's like TO have me.
Still, I agree that the Alpha Male stuff is needed. Right now it could push her away if I'm 'too controlling' but I can certainly control MY stuff and she can either be part of the solution or get out of the way.
I don't have to 'tell her' anything. Just do what needs to be done and she can stay or go.
