Nate... Nate... Nate.... smart man learns from his mistakes.... a wise man learns from other people's mistakes.
My brother... I have been down this road. I have been with many women including chicks like Amy. They always come crawling back... it's just the way it works. You were her rock, she knows that. Unfortunately she views you as a bit of a father figure and she is the rebelious teenager.
This thing with the new guy will get old fast and then she will reach out to you for help.
When she does, politely tell her that your relationship is over and she needs to find support from someone else.
Happy to hear that you are out having fun. You need some alone time. Don't be in a rush to reconnect with another girl. Rebound relationships are usually a disaster.
If you have any questions or need support, I am here for you.
ALSO...
Read the co-dependency book, that will give you some insight into your behavoir. But you are typical Alpha-Male and that is what makes you great. Find a chick that wants a guy like you. They are out there.
Don't do too much self-examination. Your fine, you just got caught up in a bad sitch. Bascially, your a normal guy... maybe a little too nice.
Big Bro Fish
Fish,
Thank you so much for your comments and support. I am truly grateful. You have no idea how much you have helped me...again thanks!
I am a bit "beat up" over the situation and wanted to provide additional background. Prior to Amy I was married to a woman named Vanessa. I got married at 25, in the year 2000. We had a house and everything was good...or so I thought.
In the fall of 2004, Vanessa told me that she never wanted to have kids. This caused major friction because a family is something that I really want...eventually. A couple months later, I lost my job and was unable to collect unemployment because I coached high school basketball. This caused financial stress in the relationship.
In March 2005, I started a new job with the state (which I still have). Around this time, Vanessa started hanging out with a girlfriend of hers named Sandy. It started becoming a couple night a week thing, where they would go on walks together. I started to voice concern that I wanted to spend more time with Vanessa.
In April 2005, Vanessa threw a 30th birthday party for me...it was great. Two weeks later, I came home after an argument about Sandy and she was gone. Vanessa moved in with Sandy. Sandy left her husband as well and became a lesbian. I am not sure if anything happened with Vanessa and Sandy. After living together for a while, they got into a fight and Vanessa moved out.
I did everything wrong. I stalked, I called, I pressured, I talked about the relationship. It was not good. Vanessa and I ended up getting a divorce and have not had any contact in years.
After eight months of healing and working on myself, I met Amy. I think that I created a codependent relationship with Amy because of the trauma from being left so suddenly by Vanessa. I found someone that needed me. I thought that I could "fix" her. If she needed me, then she would never leave me....or so I thought.
Yet again, I have been walked away from...without having a clue. This time I have done everything right...no pressure, no contact, lots of space...but the result is the same.
I feel like I am the mess...how am I suppose to trust anyone?
Nate
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
