Reclaiming myself and my life - 3

[sgctxok]

"I know I can't 'go back' and change decisions I've made, can't go back to old relationships. But it sure hurts to look at the past 20 years and see that it was somewhat crippled for a long time and we really never had a chance because we didn't know what I know now. And I can't explain that to W and convince her to wake up and do the real work.

So, I'm clear on everything now. It hurts to see my W break up our family but since she's not going to really see what has happened, and what should be done to make it work, then this is the way it will go. I'm trying not to dislike her but she HAS run away 3 times now and each time she's come back she hasn't done anything significant to make it work.

I did some things but wasn't really ready to take the risk of holding her accountable for her part because of the fear that she would run away again. Big mistake. Now we're both accountable. "

You aren't in need of 'manning up'....you haven't been 'whining'. What you .... and your wife are in need of are more 'skills' and tools.