He is not ready to see your point of view and he may not for awhile. That doesn't mean that you don't have one, just that right now it means nothing to him.
Step back from his fire and don't let his sparks hit you.
In your marriage when he was expressing that "it's his way or no way" was it the beginning of his MLC?
My H was the same way and it seem to come on in dribbles and drabs. This is when I began to lose "myself"
I see that now but I didn't then.
Now that he is full blown MLC and you stick up for yourself you are only going to end up in a verbal back and forth.Solving nothing.
If you validate him and he still blames it on you then just listen to him.Let him finish and say " you know what, I have to let this soak in, can you let me think about this and we can talk later"
Let it st for 24 hours,( call it my 24 hr rule) and then come back with defending youself in a nonaccusitory way.
"H, I was thinking about what you said and I know you feel this way but sometimes I feel like that, can we just meet halfway for a solution?" If he still says his way or....
"I'm sorry you feel that way, and I appreciate your opinion but but I choose.... "
If he gets angry let it roll off your back and leave the room. He can't argue if he has no audience.
Hope this helps
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
