First, I hope you aren't beating yourself for backsliding. I find that time period between the filing and the D (a year) was the hardest for me...it is very, very emotional.
As to your last post, I think they aleady believe they are 100% right and that we are the devil, so sometimes validating takes them by surprise. As to whether or not they ever return the validation, my guess is that is way down the road. I don't see it ever, ever happening in my case. For one thing, it would require XH to bring up a relationship talk, and that hasn't happened yet in 21 years!
So all I know to advise is to keep GAL, figure out what makes you happy, and try to do it.
