First, I want to express empathy with what you are going through. It's misery, and I am so sorry to hear about your situation.
All I can share is what's worked for me, and that is what you keep reading on these boards and in all the literature--detach and focus on yourself. You cannot control another person,no matter how much we want to do so at times. We cannot believe what our spouses are saying and doing to us. It hurts so much. Yet, I've come to see that in the end only we can help ourselves. We must take it step by step. There will be some days that are better than others. I've been doing really well for months, but then for the last week or so I've been backsliding in terms of wondering what my W is feeling, why we seem headed for a D, etc. So try to accept that these moments will occur, but the key is to let them come and try to learn from them. Then, focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Often, doing something for someone else lifts my mood. Call a friend or family member in need. Volunteer at a charity. Find your own happiness. You may stumble in trying to locate it, but that's OK. The key is to keep trying.
