You people are right!Just got a little shooken up.Have to have patience.I have changed a lot about self.Lost 34 pounds but still eating 4 times a day.Dont hardly drink at all anymore.Also i couldnt take the ring off it still there.On a better note wife came to pick up oldest son today,was doing great at the time.had the wife laughing within two minutes,it was real short,because i had to leave for work.Anyways i said goodbye,have a good one and she said goodbye Honey.She hasnt said a single word that nice in seven weeks,but i stayed focused and left. Thanks everyone for calming me down at the right time. Tom
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
Some of the best advice that one of my friends who went through a separation told me is that "everything does not have to be done NOW". At the time I kind of blew her off but now looking back at how I was acting... I was a crazy man. I am glad that I have calmed down.
Keep that same advice in your head Tom. Everything does not have to be done now. Take your time. Work out. Start painting. Keep busy during the slow times and enjoy the times with your kids. You won't regret it. Don't pressure her at all. That seems to be working for me.
In reading some of these stories, some take a month or two, some take years. But the success stories can give us hope. Either way, if done right, we will be better off as a person and father.
Hang in there.
Ken Me: 37 Her: 38 Son: 8 (spina bifida) Son:2 M 6/24/1994 S 1/21/2008 Original Sitch
better off as aperson and a father is absolutely right.only problem I have is keeping busy.There is only so much laundry and housework i can do.Ive been reading the new books so much i think i have brain burn.Almost done with both of them.This no contact thing is pretty hard,but the detachment is really hard!Cant stop thinking!Thanks tom
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
How are you doing man? Keeping busy? Hopefully you have found something to do. I am going to have to face that today as well. I have had the boys since Wednesday and will drop them back off today. It is going to be hard without them and will be alone with my thoughts. With WAW thinking about going on a date, I am sure it will be all I can think about.
Let me know what is up.
Ken Me: 37 Her: 38 Son: 8 (spina bifida) Son:2 M 6/24/1994 S 1/21/2008 Original Sitch
Im doing alright ken.I know what you mean all you can think about! Thats really my biggest problem right now and i think its about to become your problem too.Its like i need to know what shes doing,but I also know I must stop that.Thats probably the hardest part of this whole thing!Havent spoke to her in five days longest yet.I also know what you mean when they act like nothings wrong,it is really strange.But I see relly no other way of handling this.We have to stay on course and do the right thing for ourselves,the kids,and the wife.I think if your alone tonight you shoul do anything you can to grt your mind off of it I know its hard.Just get out !it will help.Good luck ken!!!
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
ok,Here we go for today,No contact with wife for six days.She calls this morning!Asking about sons birthday party.March 9th.She sounds wicked angry!!!I guess the roller coaster is starting.Didnt ask why she was mad.Then said something about it being daylight savings time that weekend.I said that going to be great,staying in happy mode.She said gotta go!!Whole call lasted less than two minutes.This stuff is really crazy.did I handle this situation correctly,I think i did.Any insight would be appreciated. tom
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
Thanks for complemnting on my thread. You are doing the right thing by acting "as is" when you talk to her. She is most likely in an emotional turmoil for what she is doing. You can have no idea what is happening emotionally between her and OM. For all you know, they could have just had their first fight. It could be that the first fight they have ends it right there. Too many possibilities to think about and it will just drive you crazy.
It is so tough finding the time to do things when you have to take care of the house, kids and financials. Fortunately for you, your kids are at the age where they can help out quite a bit.
I think Kerry is right Tom, you did fine. Don't feed into her roller coaster. You have your own to deal with behind closed doors. It sounds as if she is trying to come to grips on things. I think that the birthday party was an excuse just to try to talk. I could be wrong, but that is how i see it. Especially since she stayed on only 2 minutes.
Try and keep your head up and stay busy.
Ken Me: 37 Her: 38 Son: 8 (spina bifida) Son:2 M 6/24/1994 S 1/21/2008 Original Sitch
