Journaling, Ok this all started Thursday April 12th at 7:00pm while sitting on the computer I needed to clean up some space and found Intimate pictures of my W and the OM. This has been a long journey. I made many wrong turns, had to back track. Made some advancement. I have learned allot. I think I have learned more about myself and life in the last year than I leaned the first 48 years. Everyone here has their own way of dealing with pain and suffering. I have learned from you all. None of us have chosen the easy way out to just ignore it and "It will go away". Sometimes I have had tunnel vision and only saw what I wanted to see. You the people here gave me the wide screen version of my sitch. I feel like I have been traveling through a long dark tunnel. Coming upon one obstacle after another (like Indiana Jones). But I think I see the light at the end. I see the light but I don't know what I will find when I come out. But what I do know is that at least the uncertainty will be over. Good or bad I will have released this burden I have been caring deep inside. Time... Everyone said "it will get easier" "it takes time". Well I have given it time. And yes I think I can confront my fears better equipped but I really don't think it gets easier. The next 24 hours are going to be the longest 24 hours in my life. I so hope everything will turn out great. I so want to hear Sara say "I told you so". On the other hand if it turns out different at least it is a start. A new journey letting go of the past and looking forward to the new adventure that lies ahead...
Thanks everyone for helping me travel this maze. I think I see the cheese....
DrLove
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
People keep saying you know when you are ready. Well I can't say I am ready. I can't say when the best time would be. (Except when son is in school. I will not be giving W an ultimatum. I will be asking for help from her to help me decide what I need to do. You are all my friends. You have all given me so much. But as it was pointed out by someone here. This is a decision that my W and I need to make. I will be going into these "negotiations" with an open mind. I think I can accept which ever way it goes. Of course I hope we can work it out and stay together.
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
You have done a lot to prepare yourself and you have come a long way to detach from the emotional pain of the situation and see things rationally. It is admirable.
Remember that your wife has done none of this preparation. I don't think you should expect her to come to the conversation with her thoughts together or her emotions in check. So you might have some garbage to deal with there.
Keep in mind that you do not have to solve this problem alone. If it is more than the two of you know how to solve there are resources for you to go to. first of all, you have all the reading that you have done. Perhaps your wife would read one or two of the self-help books. Then there is the possibility of a weekend marital retreat such as Retrouvaille. Or counseling. I know that you are used to being able to fix anything that breaks around your house. But fixing a marriage is tricky. Expert help can come in handy.
Good luck with your talk. We are all on your side.
Remember that your wife has done none of this preparation. I don't think you should expect her to come to the conversation with her thoughts together or her emotions in check. So you might have some garbage to deal with there.
YES, I will need to remind myself of this. I am not looking for a solution on monday. What I am looking for is to open the door.
Originally Posted By: Sara
Keep in mind that you do not have to solve this problem alone. If it is more than the two of you know how to solve there are resources for you to go to.
Even though I am a little reluctant I do think that Retrouvaille is a must. It will be hard because neither one of us are religious but I don't see how it could hurt.
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
You have done a lot to prepare yourself and you have come a long way to detach from the emotional pain of the situation and see things rationally. It is admirable.
Ya know Sara; you just gave me a confidence boost. I never really thought about how I have been preparing for this. We are not really going into this as "equals". I am better armed for this conversation than my W. There are no hostilities on either one of our parts. But I do think she may be more confused. Like I said this is NOT the end. This is the beginning of our communications. Thanks Husband
Remember that your wife has done none of this preparation. I don't think you should expect her to come to the conversation with her thoughts together or her emotions in check. So you might have some garbage to deal with there.
Keep in mind that you do not have to solve this problem alone. If it is more than the two of you know how to solve there are resources for you to go to. first of all, you have all the reading that you have done. Perhaps your wife would read one or two of the self-help books. Then there is the possibility of a weekend marital retreat such as Retrouvaille. Or counseling. I know that you are used to being able to fix anything that breaks around your house. But fixing a marriage is tricky. Expert help can come in handy.
Good luck with your talk. We are all on your side. [/quote]
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
