Congratulations! That is really great! You must be so proud of her!
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I guess my W. must have felt unloved, uncherished, unfulfilled, and must have been as she described "misearbel" She must have been filled with deep pain, I guess.
You are right. W felt all those things - her feelings are real and valid from her perspective. Any discussion with her needs to be premised on her feelings being real. Her feelings are what create the perspective, the lens, through which she views the world and her M.
That being said, different individuals have different thresholds for what makes them feel pain, unhappiness, unloved etc. And the other variable - some people are better able to figure out why they are feeling that way and how to feel better - for example asking for what they want.
And others, just feel the pain, and cannot even begin to figure out why - and so do not know how to begin to feel better. These people are like individuals that are drowning - they are just wildly thrashing around trying to keep from drowning - and sometimes they take anyone that tries to reach them down with them. Perhaps W falls into this category. Her thrashing (breaking up the family) - is not rationally thought out - it is just a reaction to her unhappiness. They are randomly trying to find quick fixes - much like drug addict needing a high to feel good.
