Consider DBing a time for yourself to learn about yourself, your Marriage and what went wrong?
DBing is something you do for yourself, and by yourself.
Piecing is like the bootcamp, where you take everything you have learned during the time you were separated and now you put it into practice.
Piecing isn't something you do by yourself, it is somethng you have to do with two people who have the same goals to reconcile the Marriage.
You have to relearn how to live with this person again. You have to learn how to compromise. You have to set your boundaries. You have to learn how to trust this person all over again. You have to leave the past in the past.
And above all you have to learn how to forgive EVERYTHING!
Piecing in a way is harder then the MLCBS.
And in some ways it is easier.
I guess it is different for everyone, I can only speak from experience.
I love it that my Beloved is home, but it has been hard.
There are no happily ever afters, there is just hard work and taking it all day by day.
We pieced for 6 months long distance.
He has been home for 10 months and now it is startig to get better and I am happier.
14 months of piecing is a long time to finally be in a good place.
Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it!!!
Take things slowly.
There is no need to rush anything.
Have your goals and boundaries set in place before he moves back home, it will save you alot of heartache.
And if all else fails, don't forget to breathe!!!!!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
We haven't "met," and I'm new to your S, but I have been delighted many times by your advice to others on many threads... I am SO EXCITED to hear this news, hoooray hooray hoorayy!!! I will be watching this space... your story is giving me hope!!
If anyone can make this work, you can. Knowledge is everything, and you understand MLC expertly.
It is what you want now, sweetheart. Not him. You are in the drivers seat and no matter where you choose to go you will have PEACE.
You have reached the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You opened it up and found yourself.
Set your boundaries, don't compromise on what you want out of the relationship, forgive and love him unconditionally. You will find the answer if your relationship was meant to be.
I could not be more happy for you. I emailed you also....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Jeanette, Well, what a difficult questoin. Here it is so far out. I am not sure how I would feel at that particular point. As it is, day to day I feel less and less hope.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I wrote you a whole long post and lost it. Good luck to you, I am so happy that you and Rich are going to give it another shot. I so hope I will get that opportunity some day but it doesn't look too promising.
Take it a day at a time and pray, pray, pray. I know what you mean about never getting them out of your mind. I am still there after 4 years since bomb, 2 1/2 years since he moved and 7 months since D. H has lived with OW of 1 1/2 years for the past 6 months and doesn't speak or associate with me in any way. You give me hope.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Why do I feel like the "deer caught in the headlights"??? So many things racing through my head. The inlaws would be at the top of my list. But I spose I wouldn't let that bother me as they would be the uncomfortable feeling ones....not me. But I'm getting too far ahead of myself
So I'll just leave it at today.
Last I heard he said he was working today but was going to leave early. So I called his work because I'm not going to sit here looking stupid wondering if he's coming over or not. Guess who didn't go to work today?? Tap tap tap.....so I stopped writing this post and called his cell phone....he answered all sleepy.....are you guys ready?
Again the sincere appalogies and the "honey I'm sorry but they called me to work today from 12 to 10 and I really really need the money as I'll get Sunday pay...please don't be mad but I can't pay my bills and I worked last night until 1:00A.M. Silence.....he said Honey! You still there?? WHOOOSH....all my air went out as I exhaled.....I said look, I understand your money issues and I'm not going to lie and say I'm not dissapointed because I am. (again an he said how sorry he was and to please not get mad) I said Rich...I've never got angry with you.....a bit annoyed but not angry. He thanked me and said he would call me when we woke up...I had nothing else to say but ok, go back to sleep you sound very tired.
ARGH! He's making this difficult!! But I do believe he is telling the truth.....why? I dunno....maybe it's because NOW in front of almost every sentence he speaks he says....HONESTLY it's blah blah blah. Before I just got the blah blah blah.
Sooooooooo.....(*)#(&%*^*@(@__)()#%*(&(#*(&@( (insert expletives of your choice Whats another couple of days going to do.....make me crazy or crazier?
Yes it's annoying and frustrating as hell......but what can I do?
I can finish up some housework and go hit the beach! He doesn't like the beach, it's too hot for him. I LOVE IT!
Heres a cute story to end this with. Me and my gf who is 38 went to the Church Carnival last night. While standing in line to ride the ZIPPER this cute li'l chubby boy in front of us looked up and said "Are you guys in line"? I said "yes we are" He said "uhm...aren't you guys a bit oldddddddd-ER to ride this"? Nowkeep in mind his grandmother is standing next to him so I couldn't just slap him, so I threw on my best America's Next Top Model smile and said " no sweetie, this ride is for adults...see that post over there??? Perhaps you should go stand under it and see if your TALL enough to get on the ride"! SHORTY! LOL we all busted out laughing! The little fella walked over to the post and since he had puffy hair he justttt made it. I then had to tell him he best stuff more socks in his shoes!! Too cute! His grandmother told me to feel flattered that he said older.....as he thinks she's ancient, cos he said to her the other day..."Grandma? I can't believe you dont' understand computers as long as you've been around". LOL I ended up riding the ride with the little fella....almost choked on my necklace as I was laughing so hard everytime we went upside down my necklace ended up in my mouth
So it's Sunday....my I wanna have Funday! So I'll finish up some house-cleaning and hit the streets. Must be something out there to do!
How many times can one get stood up before .....nevermind. I'm seeing it through to the end!
BYE HUGS and THANK YOU!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
J, I'm sure you'll find plenty to keep you busy while he's working today. The beach sounds delightful and just think, a day to just relax!
I'm very happy to see that Rich is moving slowly but surely, back into the land of reality. You are doing great. Keep your patience handy for he's going to most likely being the one step forward, two steps back for a while. Continue dropping those crumbs of friendship and compassion along the path. No, your new name should be something like "moon beam or shining light", not crumbsnatcher.
I wish you and yours all of the very best. Every day is a new day w/so many new adventures out there for you and Rich to conquer together.
Enjoy your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Whats another couple of days going to do.....make me crazy or crazier? 
