Overwhelmed with uncertainty

[GoingForward]

Got to sleep in a little today since the kids were with MIL. That's always nice! Took a long, hot shower before it was time to pick them up.

Dropped S12 back at home (he hates shopping ) and took the two younger ones to the craft store. S8 needed some things to add to his diorama for school. While there, H called, asked where we were, and wanted to know if I could give him a ride to work later on. He left his car at work yesterday and rode with his friend (who is also the guy he rooms with) to the basketball game. I said sure, then told him where we were so his friend could drop him off there.

H met us at the store about 5 minutes later. He said he was hungry and asked if we would like to go out for some lunch. S8 said yes. I did, too, then drove home to pick up S12.

We all had a nice lunch together. H and I didn't talk about much, but we still had a decent time, and the kids really seemed to enjoy it. H was having fun joking around with them, which made me feel good.

After lunch, I jumped on the freeway, and when I passed the exit to take for our house, H asked where was I going. I said I thought he wanted me to take him to work. He said yes, but it wasn't time yet. So I got off the freeway, and then I noticed that I needed to get gas. Pulled into the station and H said, "I got it." He got out, paid for and pumped the gas.

Came back to the house. I had some dishes to clean up, so I did that while H played with the boys in one of the other rooms. When I was done with the dishes, H went to the living room and watched some TV, and S8 and I worked on his diorama in the kitchen. About 45 minutes later, H said we should get going, so we all packed into the car again and headed out.

We stopped before getting on the freeway again, and H bought the kids some ice cream for the trip (only a 25 - 30 minute drive). H talked a little about SIL. She applied for a position where H works, and he said, "Honestly, I hope she doesn't get it." I asked why did he feel that way, and he said she's made a couple of BIG mistakes where she's currently working - the kind of mistakes that cost big money and could even cost lives; she's not safe. He said he didn't know what was going through her mind for her to make such errors. This is serious stuff, and I guess SIL left him a voicemail while we were out to lunch today (he must have had his phone turned off or on vibrate because I didn't hear a ring the whole time we were together). H said it sounded like SIL was worried that she didn't pass the test she had to take for the new position, and that she messed something up, again, at her current job and is afraid she's going to get fired. H told me that her chances aren't looking too good right now, and on one hand he feels bad for her, but on the other, he doesn't.

Anyhow, after talking about SIL for a while, H said, "So when are you moving (S3)'s bed back?" I didn't really know what to say; he kind of caught me off guard with that. Finally, I said, "Well....I don't know. I don't know if we're going to still be there much longer." H quickly said, "You know you are." I said, "No, I don't know." H said, "I told you."

It's almost like we were talking in code because the boys were right there in the backseat, and we didn't want them to hear specifics.

Anyway, I said, "Yes, I know what you told me, but that's it. You 'told' me. Nothing's been done though." H asked, "What do you mean? What am I doing wrong?", and I said, "You're not doing anything wrong. I'm just saying that I haven't seen anything happen with - ", then H finished, "Moving in." I said yeah. H said, "Alright.....Alright."

We got to his workplace, H said bye to the kids and thanked them for joining him at lunch, and gave me a light tap on my hand, saying thanks for the ride. I said no problem.

So in all, today we spent a few hours together. Nothing major but it helps with getting along and feeling more at ease around each other. Well it helps me at least.



H just called now. He asked me to check his soccer schedule online for tomorrow. He also asked if I had a nice time today. I told him that I did, and I thanked him again for lunch and putting gas in for me. Told him I appreciate it. He said ok, and he had to get back to work, so I said I'd talk to him later then we said goodbye.