Its seems the W is depressed big time. She hides when she is depressed and has been for a few days now. The OM she was seeing for a while decided to blow her off, but is good friends and talks to me and W's GF. Hows that for 2X4?
So she is really bummed. I feel like I should cheer her up, but dont know if that is good DBing or not....any advice?
W and I slipped into an R talk...apparently she feels "dirty" that she had an A on me two years ago. And she cant seem to get into a major R with anyone else. I guess this guilt and everything changed her life more than I knew.
So, she feels every time she touches me, she feels dirty for what she did. And she takes 100% blame for it. Well, I guess this is supposed to make me feel better?
Oh well...I guess its back to GALing and PMAing...starting to find that females take an interest in a man who talks as much as they do...lol
W and I slipped into an R talk...apparently she feels "dirty" that she had an A on me two years ago. And she cant seem to get into a major R with anyone else. I guess this guilt and everything changed her life more than I knew.
So, she feels every time she touches me, she feels dirty for what she did. And she takes 100% blame for it. Well, I guess this is supposed to make me feel better?
Oh well...I guess its back to GALing and PMAing...starting to find that females take an interest in a man who talks as much as they do...lol
God Bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
That is interesting.... Now, how to handle it is a tough one.....
Here is the way I think I would approach it.... First, I would ask her if she would be willing to go to counseling with you to deal with her feelings concerning her A... No pressure any which way but opening a door.. She may then decide to walk through it... How knows? She may just be able to work through this and want to give your M another chance...
Go with God,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Thanks, RMG. I know she wouldnt do counseling...she made that point clear when D talks were brought up last year...In PA, I can "force" her to suubmit to counseling, but she has told me it wouldnt help...whatever.
Now, like I said, she has dated some men, but cant seem to be happy with them for more than a few weeks. For the most part it doesnt bother me, but what she is doing to herself is not going to make her happy it seems from my viewpoint. She gets her 15 minutes of release, and then back to the her mundane life.
I have done well, I think. I really have focused on me, but my compassion for her I feel keeps me on the fence sometimes.
Thanks, RMG. I know she wouldnt do counseling...she made that point clear when D talks were brought up last year...In PA, I can "force" her to suubmit to counseling, but she has told me it wouldnt help...whatever.
Now, like I said, she has dated some men, but cant seem to be happy with them for more than a few weeks. For the most part it doesnt bother me, but what she is doing to herself is not going to make her happy it seems from my viewpoint. She gets her 15 minutes of release, and then back to the her mundane life.
I have done well, I think. I really have focused on me, but my compassion for her I feel keeps me on the fence sometimes.
Thanks again and God Bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
I guess I am looking at counseling focused on her issues surrounding her A more than your M....
I think it is vital you tell me exactly what you mean by
Quote:
She gets her 15 minutes of release, and then back to the her mundane life.
Do you mean she is having the new relationship "high" or is she having sex with them? If she is having sex with them, RUN do not walk away from this....
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Yes, RMG...she has her "friends with benefits" if you know what I mean. Now, she knows what she did was wrong and every R she has had she hasnt cheated that I know of...but she justifies what she is doing, and I dont see how?
She has got issues I guess...she tells me there are others like her though. But I think I know what you mean. I love her to death, but right now dont think I would take her back.
But I cant get over the last hump I need to get over. I just pray that I am in God's favor through this and my trial will be rewarded in His time.
Yes, RMG...she has her "friends with benefits" if you know what I mean. Now, she knows what she did was wrong and every R she has had she hasnt cheated that I know of...but she justifies what she is doing, and I dont see how?
She has got issues I guess...she tells me there are others like her though. But I think I know what you mean. I love her to death, but right now dont think I would take her back.
But I cant get over the last hump I need to get over. I just pray that I am in God's favor through this and my trial will be rewarded in His time.
Thanks again..RMG, God Bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
I am there with you, man. My "Christian" exW made every excuse in the book..... Her "Christian" sister was there making excuses... and did not have the strength to say anything....
BTW, her sister was a couple of days away from her D being final until she got a grip.... Her sister had the grass is greener mentality.... I told my ex WAW her sister was in for a rude awakening .... The world is not full of "nice guys".... They are out there but there are a lot of creeps.....
It is really wacked out she is justifying sleeping around while she is married...... These women are just crazy........
I know you do not want to hear this again.... But, there are a lot of great women out there who will appreciate you when the time comes....
I was blown away by some of things gals said about my M and D. I remember one case were a gal wanted to know about my M and D. We sat for over six hours talking about it. She asked a lot of questions and I answered honestly. The next day, she told me how very attractive she found that I could love my exW so much and how open I was with her about it...
No matter how things turn out, God will bless you...
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
I just dont see how she can still consider that we are S while doing all this. She feels we are D to everything but signing papers.
I sometimes dont know why she doesnt file and get it over with. I think maybe guilt has a lot to do with it. Some people has said she is trying to figure out if D is what she wants...Duh...thats a dumb question I think.
I know God will take of me..Patience is something I am trying to learn the most of this experience..
I just dont see how she can still consider that we are S while doing all this. She feels we are D to everything but signing papers.
I sometimes dont know why she doesnt file and get it over with. I think maybe guilt has a lot to do with it. Some people has said she is trying to figure out if D is what she wants...Duh...thats a dumb question I think.
I know God will take of me..Patience is something I am trying to learn the most of this experience..
God Bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
It is most important you focus on you.... Either way, you want to be a better man for future Rs/Ms........
You really need to pray about your sitch with W. If she is having sex with another guy, the ball is in your court if/when she returns.... I personally do not think I could go back.... There are too many issues.....
I am one who would wait forever if my W had issues to resolve..... I would wait as she went to C..... HOWEVER, if there is even a hint of OM, I would end it......
I wish I could be of more help....
You will be in my prayers today...
Go with God,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
I know that I need to move on...plain black and white. A mutual friend of ours told me that she feels she can never forgive herself for what she had done..meaning the A. So, to her, its was over then. I feel like an idiot sometimes for holding on this long...but I feel Im at the point I have done all I can.
At least I have the peace of mind, with Gods grace, that I have been the victor in this because I stood for my M. I know God has seen that along with many others...at least they didnt judge me for trying.
Thanks and God bless...when I get over this 100%, I will remember this, RMG.
