Well saw H for the first time since Tues. I missed H until he opened his mouth.
Grumpy right from the get go hmmmmmm.....I'm usually a morning person and he's not going to rain on my parade.
He got mail yesterday from his lawyer and he told me what was in it. Hasn't done that before
He left for a bit and when he came back I asked him if he had a chance to see his lawyer.
H- nope next week
E- oh... I know I've said this before but, I don't want this and we can still work at this marriage.It won't be easy and it won't be fast but we can try
H- lets just do this
E- ok I'll keep moving ahead ( no tears ! first time and I think he was surprised too)
H- when the lawyers get together I'll have to tell them that my hours will be cut down(I know he wants me to feel sorry for him)
E- I don't want to talk finances. I'm tired of talking money. Whewww issue avoided!
H- what time are you going to P's (his nephew's for his birthday)
E- not sure do you not want me there at the same time?
H- no! that doesn't matter
E- I don't know, I have a few things to do first
H- Do you want to go see the house? (his house that he's moving into)
E- You have the key already?
H- I had one made to get the furnace in
H tells me about what kind of furnace he's going to put in and I said well that's good because like you said it's going to be an investment. H agreed.
I said well if you want we can go see it now.
H said to take seperate cars so he can go straight to work I said never mind, we'll make it another day
Why does he want to show me this place?
Then the generator went on outside and he says he'll change the oil for it in the spring/summer? Keeps wanting to make sure things are taken care of around here.
Talk about changes in moods!!! whewwww hard but I'm staying steady.
Then he gets up says bye and leaves for work.
That's it.
I hope this is dropping the rope yet still caring.
I really am at a different place than I was a year ago. I think that him being here for a year has made me stronger and able to make better decisions.
I just hope that these decisions are right for us....
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
I spent most of the day relaxing. Reading this forum and "Men in Midlife Crisis" book.
H spent most of his day watching t.v downstairs.
I made a nice roast beef and all the trimimgs dinner and told H that once he moves out he is invited to come back for Sunday meals. He thanked me.
I said and if S,who will be moving out with H, wants to come and needs a ride I will go pick him up.
He thanked me for dinner and helped clean up afterwards. He also complemented me during the dinner.
It was nice but I was a little uneasy as he seems a little uncomfortable. I suppose I do also. We have this moving date looming and we both know but neither says anything.
I said my peace yesterday (see post above) so he knows how I feel.
I did the dishes and he went back downstairs.
As the night went on and around 8 he came up here and went into his room and closed the door to his room to watch t.v
I went in to hug him, no real reason other than I wanted to.I could feel the cell phone under his pillow. He didn't deny it but was obviously hiding it.
The point I'm getting at is that I felt "nothing" the hug was empty,cold and unfeeling. Why?????
Waiting for closing date is like waiting for another bomb to drop but I know the date.
3 weeks sems like an eternity.
I almost wish he could leave sooner. To get it over with. It's like waiting to get your tooth to be pulled. You know it's coming and it's going to hurt like hell but you have to do it to get it to the heal properly.
my emotions are very confused right now
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
