Partner left after 9 years - now we're friends??

[AliSuddenly]

A watched pot never boils! A very english saying. :-)

Thanks RTL, Essie and Oneday, I really appreciate a bit of a boost. I just cant seem to see that its baby steps..as in back toward ME, it just might be that I am the closest person to him still, and we were always such good friends, best of friends, and we do have a very similiar and particular humour and make each other laugh/smile whatever...maybe its just all that stuff going on here? That he is getting some comfort from me? I just havent noticed any change of heart in him. I am encouraged that he continues to sign his messages "me" - but OneDay, I am always amazed that your H signs his "love H x x x" !!! and he has a purple-peril (hopefully an ex-purple-peril, hey?)

I'm worried that I havent yet told him about Berlin. I will have to tell him Monday, but that OM (from 4 years ago) moved to Berlin and I'm really worried that it will stir up old feelings, me going there. Although we havent been in touch since he moved there in early 2004. And my BF knew that we were no longer in touch. But if I were my BF, I would imagine me emailing and suggesting we met up (how hostel is actually at the top of his road! We will probs be using the same train station). I have absolutely no desire to contact him/meet up with him again though. I hope my BF either asks and I can say, no I am not in touch with him (and anyway, I wouldnt p*ss on him if he were on fire - another British saying!)..or that he doesnt just stay silent but have old resentments about it. He did say at the bomb (as I asked him), that this was nothing to do with my EA, that was all in the past and we had resolved it and moved on from it.

Still. I am going to Berlin. Where he lives. Damn! Why did I book it!? As if me and my BF arent in enough of a fragile sitch I have to go and shove that into the mix! Be great to go to the Hamburger Bahnof though! :-)

And he's feeling low, and has been emailing me every day this week, but I wont be around for a week, I'm not back till Saturday night. Maybe its bad timing to go away.

Well, the good news is, as my BF is away, I can go to work tommorow now doing my bosses accounts (whoppee! thrills!), but the money is good and I cant bike ride as it is going to rain :-(