Thanks for the hugs, support and overall warm fuzzies on my continuing saga!
It sounds like you've been getting great advice on what to do.
My two cents are as follows:
Eye rolling:
Years ago they did interviews on couples and follow ups several years later. Those couples who would roll their eyes when the other spoke indicated disdain and lack of respect. The study showed those marriages were unlikely to last. The study was based on body language and its indications over the long term. Needless to say, I tried to keep my eye rolling to a minimum.
Help in how to approach your wife when you're at the end of your rope:
Have you ever considered using any of the DB counselors? I signed up for three sessions and have used two so far. Jodi capsulized what was going on, helped me set up specific goals, helped me figure out how to tell the kids (man oh man was that an awful moment). Each time I talked to her I was filled with hope, enthusiasm and energy. The cost it worth it. I just figured if I tallied up how much junk food and things I didn't need I bought in a month or so it covered the cost and was worth much more.
Intensive with Michele:
That's expensive but less expensive than divorce costs. If your wife has even a tepid interest, I can only imagine what a couple could get out of a full day of working with Michele. Just on my journey I've realized that my husband and I just never learned how to deal with the little stuff. Over time annoyance over little stuff magnifies exponentially. Go figure.
Just think of truly working as a couple, finding changes that seem almost insignificant which have positive lasting results.
So many times the thought of spending money on emotional well being seems like a luxury. Yet that money is spent anyway in ways that don't have lasting results. In the past year my husband has been on a buying spree. I supported it because he works long hours and deserved to have what made him happy. I'd go out and bargain shop and found great prices for things we didn't need. Let's not even talk about the cost of junk food, pizza and take out!
The same way you always have time to attend a funeral, you have the same ability when it comes to what is most precious in life.. your family.
