"Pretty good night last night"?? I'd say so! Give her some space now. You know she needs time to think about last night and process her fears. She cannot have you pushing at this point.
Way to go!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Yes, Ms L, space is the key now. I can't hook up with her anyway - she has a girlfriend coming over to visit tonight, her cousin Friday and her sister Saturday.
We might have brunch on Sunday (her idea), I don't know, still a few days away.
I'm not feeling as panicky as I was 2 weeks ago, because we are moving toward reconciliation now. I still feel some uncertainty, but I think it's just the gravity of the situation doing that to me.
Seems like you're doing really well with responding to her anxieties. Keep finding that balance of connection and room. I can appreciate that it must feel a lot easier to give space when there is a greater sense of the other person moving toward reconciliation. My WAW isn't near that point, so it requires a lot to manage the stress and anxiety of the unknown, and I've seen you've gone through a lot of that yourself.
Anyway, great job and keep us posted. I feel pretty down sometimes and it is great to read some positive stories like yours.
Thanks Bro. Did you read my first thread? I was in dark despair, and I have been in this for a shorter time than most. I simply cannot imagine what some of you are going through.
I am so acutely aware of my sitch now, that I am utterly determined not to screw it up or scare off my wife.
I was driving home from a meeting about 15 minutes ago. She called me as I was driving, to tell me about the visit she had with a girlfriend tonight. They talked all night about problems her GF was having in her relationship. Suddenly the GF said "I've talked all night about myself! What about your drama?" My lovely W said to her "my drama has all changed, there's really no drama now".
She said "good night sweetie" before hanging up.
Me feel good.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
They ALL take time to come around. She is peeking into the tent. Let her peek. Don't want to scare her off.
ALSO - keep in mind she may get spooked for some other reason. This would not be a surprise. Prepare yourself for it! If it happens, don't despair! Just think how far you have come. She may need a break. Don't over-think it.
Patience! Steady now! Stay the course! Keep positive! Keep those changes up!
Woo hoo!!!!! I am soooo happy for you.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
I'll accept your nomination as DBer of the year, when my beautiful bride is back in our home, and somewhere down the road she tells me "this is the best thing we could have done, and I am so happy".
Until then - as SPM says, I'm playing it cool as a cucumber.
I love that book. Here's a guy who led an expedition to Antarctica, planned for a couple months, but was gone for more than 2 years. The ship was crushed in the ice. Yet the expedition lost not a single member of his crew. 2 years!
We all may need more endurance than we might think.
