I just got caught up on your new thread and I want to agree w/ everyone (possibly even "Spank Man Jeff" that BF is moving back toward you.
Remember you see these as baby steps, but for him they most likely feel like GIANT strides. He is most likely expending a ton of emotional energy just contacting you in the way he is, so look at them as positives.
He just doesn't have the capacity to do it any better or any faster right now. Remember, he has to ultimately be able to look at his own image in the mirror and be accountable for his own unhappiness.
Keep being a friend and keep the pressure low and he'll keep coming back. If/when the R talk turns up, don't jump in w/ two feet. Rather, keep him back and merely dip your toe in the water.
You are approaching 4 months, correct? Is 4, 5, 6, 12 months or longer of this maddening DB stuff worth 20, 30, 40 years or more of togetherness again w/ a brand new appreciation and outlook for each other?
If the answer is yes, then don't forget the ultimate goal and remember what Vince Lombardi once said (He's an American football legend, by the way):
Quote:
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
We're all tripping, stumbling and falling here and the key is in our ability to get up and dust ourselves off for the next round. If you want to get religious, you can think of Christ carrying the cross. He didn't want to walk that path, but he knew it was right, so he did it anyway despite the pain it exerted on him.
Or, for you English, you can always fall back on good ol' Winston Churchill:
Quote:
If you are going through Hell, keep going.
If we quit now, we'll never truly know what could have been on the other side.
Stay strong, my dear English friend. Focus on yourself and focus on the ultimate goals you've established.
that BF is moving back toward you.
