Oh, This Is Bad...Like My Worst Nightmare

[Kimmie Lee]

Thanks Joie. I know you're right.

I'm sorry to say that it is a beautiful day out and I have been in bed with the blinds shut tight. I feel so awful. Is this what depression is? I just can't get with it today; just not motivated. Hope it's just temporary as I am drowning in tears. This should have been a great day for "us", but there is no "us". H isn't here and doesn't care.

[JoieDeVivre]

Kimmie,
I challenge you to get out an enjoy the beautiful day! Just getting out into the fresh air will help clear your head. I know it's hard when the entire world is on your shoulders. Many of us have been there. Sometimes I had to force myself to do things, but when I did, I always felt better.

What can you do? See family? Take a walk? Call a friend?

Are you seeing a counselor? Lots of people here are on low dose ADs and they say it helps.

Joie

[JoieDeVivre]

Kimmie,
I challenge you to get out an enjoy the beautiful day! Just getting out into the fresh air will help clear your head. I know it's hard when the entire world is on your shoulders. Many of us have been there. Sometimes I had to force myself to do things, but when I did, I always felt better.

What can you do? See family? Take a walk? Call a friend?

Are you seeing a counselor? Lots of people here are on low dose ADs and they say it helps.

Joie

[Kimmie Lee]

Thanks Joie.

It's like the beautiful day is mocking me.

I got out of bed and got into the tub for a couple hours, then went back to bed and tried to watch Thelma and Louise, now I am finally out of bed and dressed and it's almost 2pm here.

Ok, I'll get outside and walk to the mailbox, hang on......

......and I'm back. The mail is late. Why does the universe hate me???

[JoieDeVivre]

That just means you get to back out and enjoy the day again!

[Kimmie Lee]

You are so cute, Joie.

I did go outside again to get the mail, and then back inside the house. Oh, I opened the blinds to let some light in, then I watched the movie "COMA" on DVD.

I wish I were in a coma.....

[JoieDeVivre]

Kimmie,
I'm glad you got to enjoy the sunshine. I know you're in a lot of pain. It WILL get better.

Even though I've been at this almost 9 months, I still find it hard to get motivated. I still have to make myself do things sometimes.

Do you have family nearby? Do they know what you are going through?

My email address is in my profile if you want to chat more.

Joie

[Kimmie Lee]

Thank you Joie.

I do have family, and friends, and a life, more so than H, actually. And they all know about our sitch because it would be impossible to hide it. I am always curious at the advice we hear to keep the split under wraps, but I don't know how this is possible unless one is geographically far away, or why that would be a good thing to do anyway.

I just am too sad right now and the tears are too close to the surface. I think I feel worse now than I did when he first left.

I do have plans to go to my friend's place to watch the Academy Awards later. I have been looking forward to this and it will be fun once I get there. I can't seem to get it together to even fix the food I am bringing.

Oh well, I have 5 hours to try to get off my ass, get to the store, buy some Asti, orange juice, French bread, come home, prepare the marinated vegetables, pack up, get back in the car and drive to Seattle.

[JoieDeVivre]

Kimmie,
How was the Academy Award party??? Fun, I hope...

Joie

[Yoyowife]

((((((Kimmie))))))
I hope you had a nice time, you deserve it. I know you are in so much pain, I've been exactly where you are. Please try to do something for yourself and get your mind off of him. We can't change their minds. We can only work on ourselves. Take care of yourself. If you are not on AD's I think it might take the edge off for you. I resisted for a while going to the doctor, but once I did, it truly made a difference. I was able to function whereas before I was just an emotional wreck.

Hugs,