Ah thank you so much kids! You are such an enormous help, cant you all just come live in my house for a bit, seriously?? It can be like DB HQ. T, you can keep the bikes tip top and bake us muffins, round the clock, Jeff, you can be in charge and keep us all in line (put that whip down!) Essie can organise all our great GALing events, IMP, you can be the voice of reason, and OneDay, we can amuse ourselves with inventing new elements for the periodic table whilst waiting for the latest communication to come in from my BF.
...oh my god...theres one now... FLIPPIN ECK !
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I agree with Jeff. You didn't spook him, Ali. You conversed.
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I guess he could be lonely in his crummy flat. But, he was out last night...then must have woken up and literally couldnt face 2 days by himself before he went back to work on Monday..and probably didnt want to have to phone me again and see me. That puts a different slant on the past two weekends, maybe my friend was right, maybe he spent time with me just because he is low and needed company and it doesnt mean that he is having any regrets.
Or maybe he is missing me, but cant admit it.
Anything is possible, Ali. The key for you is to keep a positive mental attitude.
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I will look back on this phase of my life as just about the most frustrating series of events that I ever had to live through
Actually, you don't even have to look back. You already know it. Obviously, I am much farther down the road than you are. But when you get where I am you will find it was a part of your life and that you survived, learned from it, and continue to thrive as a person. For me, in some ways it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And in other ways, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thanks IMP! I know you're right...but thats intellectualising it! I just cant seem to have that PMA yet..I'm just hacked off he left me, I miss him, its confusing, upsetting, annoying and I want turn back time and tell my stupid ignorant complacent self to do all this great work BEFORE he leaves !!! :-) Good point about the baby steps OneDay, do you see it that way? I agree, we are having multiple communcations now! There was a time when even one a week was a miracle, now they're raining down like a meteroite shower.
...well another text! Its a wierd one, feel a bit disappointed...funny though..
I joked in my text last night that his friend may try it on in the cinema (my BF had once said he thought this mate, who has a W and baby, may be gay). Well in his text earlier he said he had tried it on! Which is fine, except it isnt, seeing as he has a W and baby!! so I asked him if that was a joke or not? Hes just replied:
"The whole yawn, stretch, arm around the shoulders move! Feeling a bit better than earlier - back monday probably. Sorry you working so hard. Me"
Hmm!!??
I guess its positive in that hes letting me know he wont be seeing me this weekend "probably back Monday" - I didnt even ask him when hes back. Not taking me up on the "give me a call" offer though. I think he is implying (as usual, not stating!) that he wont speak to me, but will email me when he is back on Monday.
Should I reply ?? And round we go around the flowchart again...
Q1. Shall I reply? Yes - go to question 2...No - go to quesion 978 Q2. What should I say? .... Q. 978..What should I do instead of replying?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I DO see it as baby steps. Amazing that you guys are conversing and sharing funny texts and stories. I think it's brilliant!
I think I also think 'Hmmm' when reading BF's last text. It's not inviting a response, but it's not NOT inviting a response either. Hard to know what to do, but I think I would probably not reply. Let him wonder what you're doing right now...
And instead of replying? Why not pop over to Jeff's thread? He's having a party there tonight with lasagne and everything!
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
Lisa! how can she not respond to the arm around the shoulder story? I was completely skeeved out! If that's even a word, but it sounded good! But, Ali, you are certainly invited to the party! Whether you respond or not! I think there will even be some non nerds there! Maybe.
Ha, tempetd, classic, like it! I sent that back, also asked him if he fended him off by stripping off his shirt and wasting him, Rambo style. I also added, glad you are feeling better, Me.
Christ, we are conversing like teenagers. I'm 37 in a couple of weeks! Still, humour is good I guess.
Still feel sad that he took off back to our hometown, 250 miles away, instead of hanging out here and therefore deliberately missed an opportunity to spend time with me. My sister was saying that maybe that is a bad sign. That he didnt turn to me. Looks like it really is over she reckons !???
..oh no, just realised I made a joke of what happened..when in fact it may have been quite upsetting for him. He only knows three mates here so far and this is the one he really likes and respects. And then he goes and does that to him! And now my BF probably wont feel comfortable to arrange to see him outside work. So now I see why he felt wierd and down and jumped in his car and drove 250 miles to meet up with his old friends. Damn, wish I'd thought about that before I replied now. It does pay to think things through !
I sent it an hour ago and he hasnt replied this time, so he obviously didnt think much of my text! Or is just out in the pub :-)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I liked what you texted! I think you did a good job.
I love that quote that a watched kettle never boils.
I am so hoping that your trip to Berlin is going to be fabulous and such a distraction. And will kick start a whole new attitude for you of concentrating on yourself and letting him figure himself out. (Give him space, even if you want to 'fix' his problems, including the gay friend thing.....).
Realistically if he is going to come back he will have had to figure out what has gone wrong and heal himself. And that takes time (so ignore your sister's advice she is just trying to help you not feel so hurt). And you wont want him back until he is really ready. If he has to go back to his hometown to think about things and re-group then that's what he has to do, and it is probably the best thing he could do.
