Hey FLTC, ya think that's good, my Birthday is next weekend and W wants to " do something to celebrate with me" Yup, I'm living the life, turning 50 and partying with my XW to celebrate. How much better can it possibly get? Maybe she can burn a pizza for me...but that's already been done!
It will be a family celebration with the kids, not just her. I'm OK with that. It's a nice gesture on her part. I'm OK with trying to maintain family as much as possible. Is it wise? I dunno but it's where I'm at right now. Yesterday night the kids were asking me about whether I was going to the cottage with them in the summer. I said I didn't know right now and tried to explain why it is a difficult thing for me to do. I told them I didnt' want to say yes or no right now, I needed some time. We talked about options. I told them that they can't fully understand and the only way they could is to be in my shoes, I hoped that they would never understand! It's tough trying to find the balance between my new found independence and my continuing family life. I can't just cut everything off, it's not fair to the kids. We are and always will be family in one way or another. It's finding what works that's hard. In one way, it would be easier just to cut her out of my life, wash my hands of her but I'm not there yet. I continue to want what is best for my family, not just me. It might seem dumb or naive but I will always go that extra mile for my kids. Kids do best when separated parents get along, that's my aim. I spent five years living in an incrdibly difficult situation trying to save what was important to me, I have to do what I can do now to preserve whatever is left, that's who I am...right or wrong, time will tell.
Just a quick update. My XW's sister is arriving from China today and plans to stay for 10 days and therefore will be coming to my D10's gymnastics meet this weekend. D expressed some anxiety about having Auntie and my Aerobics friend come at the same time, so I have asked my friend not to come. My friend said that she understood completely and asked me to wish D best of luck and above all to HAVE FUN! W is also keeping the kids for the next 10 days while sister is here, at my agreement. Chances are I will get them a few days anyway as sister in law will probably be off visiting other friends while here. So that's my update. I'm thinking of attending an Intercessory prayer meeting tonight, although I'm not really sure what it is! Live and learn
Well, Whatis has come down with a wicked cold! In the past few years I have rarely been ill but this winter it has been one bug after another, I guess the stress finally caught up with me and probably the fact that I never stop going doesn't help. Part of me thinks if I slow down I won't start again, so I just keep going. I look at my schedule right now and find something has to give! Monday's is Aerobics, Tuesday's is Yoga ( I don't go every week), Wednesday is a DVD and discussion group at church, Thursday night is a Prayer Meeting, and Friday night is dance lesson night. On top of that, every second Saturday evening is a modern church service not to mention Sunday's church. Umm, Whatis may have gone too far! Time to trim the schedule a bit. Well, at least when the kids are with me I can't do all these things. Hmm, I wonder why I stay sick? The kids have been with me since last night as W's sister decided not to stay with W until tonight. When W leaves me messages this week she is very thankful and polite re my co-operation with her changes in plan for the week. Hey, family is important, hers and mine! Tomorrow is also D10's gymnastics Meet, so today I am going to rest and get to bed early. Later Dbers, I'll have a Neo-Citran for you guys...on the rocks.
Ugh! Neo-citran is gross! I hope you are feeling better soon, Wii! I have a bit of a cold/cough too, so just trying to take it easy.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I just returned from the gymnastics meet with XW, D10 and SIL. D10 did much better than last outing and was happy with her performance. I had a nice visit with SIL, who I'm sure is going to fly home and say "I don't get it, they seem to get along just fine, why did they split up?" W was pleasant and personable and actually suggested something I could take for my cold. Usually, she just ignores any illness I have or treats me as a complete irritation... oh yah, she does that when I'm well too, silly me Anyway, W asked if I would like to go out to lunch with them and I declined as I am quite bagged today. So it's off for some more sack time. Later Dbers.
I fully understand about the summer and the cottage situation. Although your kids are important, you have to be able to menatlly survive and move on as necessary. I rent space in my head sometimes and think about how much fun summer used to be at FIL's house at Cape Cod, MA. Just incredible memories. W. told me I could go there with the kids anytime I wanted. She just doesn't get it. I also understand the complete annoyance thing you describe. If I stood too close to W. at S9's hockey games, she would have to move away, or better still, and far more endearing, just made hand gestures to tell me to back up.
For my 50th, when we were stil living together, but she had stated she wanted a divorce, she got me a Tag Heuer diving watch, with the date(only) inscribed on the back. Heartwariming! I'll never wear a $1K watch! I stick with my $29.95 Ironman that got me from Pennyslvania to Iraq!
Anyway, W asked if I would like to go out to lunch with them and I declined as I am quite bagged today. So it's off for some more sack time. Later Dbers.