Saw him on a singles site...

[Where is Hope?]

Yes, he went through years of counseling with probation and a court appointed counselor, who is the one that has counseled us together. (But not since last August). We had a two hour session and he was an hour late and left in a huff in 30 minutes because he said it was all about me. HE is the one who was doing all of the talking! She knows our family VERY well due to SS20's offense. She says he is a male chauvenist with a lot of passive-aggressive behaviors. She said I am the glue that kept it all together. After watching my Ssons failing and the business going down without him allowing me to co-manage, I see what she meant. I didn't expect it to go this fast, though! My heart aches for my Ssons. I love them! H doesn't have a relationship with them, he just tells them what to do and they wait until he's gone and do whatever they want.

Oh man. The more I think about the way it was the more I can see why he says it will never work.

"what do you think is wrong in your R with your H that caused you NOT to tackle this problem as a team?"
We've gotten advice from so many sources on how to raise kids. Each of them has been similar. We studies the 5 love languages, went through a wonderful parent-teen 6 week course with our kids, the counselor has told us how to raise them and our pastor. ALL OF THEM have agreed on how to do this, yet we would come home and H would continue his old practices. At one point he said "all of that stuff we learned is great and works for others, but it doesn't work for me". His method of raising kids is lecturing. No consequences. No follow-up. He blows up when they are arrested or get Fs, and then ignores the problem. My pastor says he has a good case of "ostrich-itis".