OK apppleroad, I'll bite. What "something" different would you suggest.
My plan now is to worry about me and my kids. I've wanted to go back to school for my masters for over 9 years now. H has never seemed very interested in that for me. The way he portrays himself when I mention any such thing (me working, going back to school, working toward a career etc) seem to be more about the money that will come in (we are not in debt, living very comfortably with his income...I've allowed myself to be put in a position where a regular job isn't possible while the kids are young due to his schedule) and less about the personal growth I see in it. Yes, money is always important but I don't think it should be the ultimate goal.
As far as h "manning up" in part that feels like the truth but wouldn't it be more manly for him to at least attempt to give the children an example of a loving relationship, patnership, companionship, friendship etc. My children have a mom and dad who both live in the home but do they have a family? Will they grow up and create the same empty marraige we have?
I don't see it as h really manned up...I see it as he dropped his drawers and sat down but nothing's comming out but gas. Muddy glasses? Somehow I don't think so...I've been keeping a brief log or journal of his actions, interactions with us (the kids, dog and I) and what I'm seeing is a lot of gas.
No, Divorce is not what I want...if it were I'd have done it years ago but sometimes I do wonder if the kids would be better off that way. H was more of a dad during our seperation than he has been since at least then he spent time with them on a regular basis not just when it suited him.
"In the beginning, you and H chose one another for good and valid reasons, you had many years of loving relationship."
what if we didn't choose one another for good valid reasons? what if we were kids when we met ( 16 and 19 though we didn't marry until 9 years later)and just didn't know how to stay broken up for the good and valid reasons we had broken up?
