Finding my way out of the dark

[mishka422]

I think the struggle I am having with the trust issues is that if he came home right now in the condition he is in we would be set up for failure before we begin. He sees how much damage he has done and feels like a failure and I want to be a beacon of hope for him but I also don't know if I can open myself and our son up to being abandoned again if he implodes. I know I would have an even more difficult recovery a third time but I don't know if my son would ever recover from it. That is my fear.

If my H would agree to seek counseling for himself I would agree to having him back home. If he won't do that, I don't see how we could move forward. He needs to deal with his demons for himself. They have eaten his soul and he needs the restoration of God's love and the guidance of a trained professional in coping techniques. I can pray and ask God to send his mercy on my husband but I can't even bring up therapy to him. He doesn't want to hear that.

I guess I'm just stuck right now. I don't know what else to do for him but be here and pray for him.