On Thursday I stayed home from school and just slept, and Friday I had to go in for orchestra rehearsal (I'm not allowed to miss right before a concert) but still got lots of rest. I had a very quiet evening, making Broccoli Cheddar White Bean Soup and then Chai Chocolate Pots de Creme, which I had been meaning to make for a while.
This probably sounds silly, but I also watched a little bit of "Lost" the 2nd season. My B got into "lost" before I did, and asked me to make a pact to watch every single episode, in order, over the course of our lives. So it was our special show. I have been holding up my end of the pact post-bomb, thinking it would be kind of romantic after we (hopefully) get back together to tell him I was waiting to watch the rest of Lost with him. Does this sound crazy? But I started finishing the season 2 DVDs. I decided it would be "OK" if I only finish Season 2. Has anyone else had thoughts like this??? It sounds weird that I am even thinking about it, but I thought someone might understand.
I also had this weird moment a couple afternoons ago where the whole R just seemed like this crazy, distant dream. Has anyone else had those feelings?
The funny thing about being home and resting is I can become aware of how I am still thinking about this all the time, whenever I'm not doing something too demanding. I guess that's what is good about music, it takes up all my brain space and gives my head a rest from thinking about the R.
I also ran into some stuff about depression on the MLC and Depression thread. I had to laugh at myself because especially right after the bomb I definitely was showing major symptoms of depression and anxiety, and maybe still am a little. But around bomb-time, so was my B. I think I didn't really see it because I just thought what depression looked like was acting sad, but now I have better information. It is funny that there are still layers of the crisis unpeeling themselves, even almost four months after the last bomb.
Tonight I'm going out to see a movie with a good friend, and maybe dinner too!
I hope all of you have beautiful weekends ((HUGS)) T
