The Longest Journey

[Jen_Jam]

I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR.

My attitude at my 2 year mark was along the lines of "Oh for F's sake. I've worked on myself, I'm one DARNED FINE girl, you've said you played your part in this M crisis, so I stated calmly what I wanted, told it to you striaght just like you asked and you are STILL pussyfooting about. I cannot do any more here. If you want help, I will provide it. But I cannot mind read and I cannot guess".

My H (who remember is your H's UK twin) did try not to rock the boat, tried to guess my feelings, made assumptions. Basically, he was backsliding. I remember a conversation with him about this time:
Me "You told me that if I have something I find difficult to say or ask, that I should just tell you straight. Well I have done and you don't like it. What more can I do?"
H "errr... oh yeah"

He needed constant reminders ... like in other sample convos:
H "I wasn't sure what you wanted to do"
Me "that's Ok, but if you ask me I'll tell you"
H "oh yeah" (to the sound of creaky, rusty cogs in his brain whirring)

I think you're in another it's up to H to step up to the mark phases. These seemed to come and go a lot for me. They still do, although they are more little nudges now. You have stated what you want (again, but bear with me, I think I stated what I wanted about 15 times and about 50% of it has sunk in so far) now it's time to gracefully step back, be very ZEN about it and wait - ha ha

God SD I do know how you feel. Sometimes when my H is bing a bit .. well .. cr4p I just want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and call him a stupid boy. But I'm calm, remind him of what I've stated before and wait. I think as well part of me having a successful M is going to be accepting that my H is a bit cr4p at times. But I go for the 80/20 rule. AS long as 80% of the time it's OK I'll let the other 20% go.

And if i get angry .... well there are always Body Combat classes to go to where in my head I can repeatedly punch H in the head 30 times ... there is always some heavy metal about to play DARNED LOUD and always a good mate about to go out with for a good moan with (and a bottle of wine or two)

I will have a drink for you tonight! Cheers!!