LWB, OMG! How so very thoughtful and considerate of him. How completely unfair of him to do that the night before vacation. He is unbelievable. Did he have anything to say for himself?
You'll be so into the kids on vacation. Don't let him ruin that. Sock it to him when you return. You do deserve respect, and a better life.
Hi everyone!! We (all of us!) had an amazing time. Absolutely wonderful. The girls enjoyed every minute, as did myself and H. I don't regret going one single bit.
That being said, I will list a few things...
1. The night we arrived, I received a text from H while out feeding the fish with D6. It wasn't for me. It wasn't sexual, but flirty. I got back, told him to resend the text to the right person, and went on with my night. After they went to bed, he wanted to talk about it. I told him, I wasn't mad (he was shocked) and that he will be moving out when we get home. He claims he just met her (whoever she is, I didn't ask a thing about her) and they hadn't done anything. Told him, not my concern anymore.
2. We went on the rest of the week as good friends. We were relaxed, comfortable, and had a great time, even together when the girls were asleep. Of course, having happy hour every single night helped that. I have literally dropped the rope and its made an amazing difference in my life, for myself, and for the way I am around H. And the way H treats me is totally different, he is no longer on the defense, there is newfound respect and caring that has been very absent. Everyone says to 'let go' and move on, but honestly, it just won't happen until we are ready. I am ready to let him go, if he needs to go.
3. H cried a lot on the trip during our long talks. Regrets, sadness, lots of messy stuff. I listened.
4. H moved out yesterday. Plan is to keep the girls in their own beds every night, H will come there to watch them when I work. We will get ourselves settled/situated and then make different plans/start the D process. H was very emotional yesterday, packing up things. The girls don't know anything, they won't notice any difference for quite awhile. Finally, our crazy schedules will help something.
I am ok. I am relieved to have him gone, yet miss him and love him like crazy. I will be fine. I know this now. H may not want to be married to me, but I realized I don't deserve to be around someone that doesn't want to be around me. Space will be my friend and enemy, but mostly my friend.
Welcome back LWB!!! Missed you too. Very happy to see everyone enjoyed the trip.
Originally Posted By: lwb
...I received a text from H while out feeding the fish with D6. It wasn't for me.
I don't get it. I haven't been texting for very long and I have yet to send a text (knock wood) to the wrong person. I've read about this happening a few different times to different people. I wonder how much of it is truly accidental...
Anyway, I loved the way you handled it. When my wife told me to stop reading the log files from her game a few weeks (months?) back I told her I don't read them anymore because quite frankly I don't care what she is saying to anyone in the game anymore. It's very freeing to be able to honestly say "It's not my concern any more"
Originally Posted By: lwb
Everyone says to 'let go' and move on, but honestly, it just won't happen until we are ready. I am ready to let him go, if he needs to go.
It amazes me how we start off on this journey feeling hopeless, helpless and completely alone and then after months of working on ourselves we wake up and finally realize the strength we have gained. I am so happy for you and, at the risk of sounding condescending, very proud of you as well.
Originally Posted By: lwb
I am ok. I am relieved to have him gone, yet miss him and love him like crazy. I will be fine. I know this now. H may not want to be married to me, but I realized I don't deserve to be around someone that doesn't want to be around me.
Great job LWB! Oh, he does NOT deserve to be around you...
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
I have literally dropped the rope and its made an amazing difference in my life, for myself, and for the way I am around H. And the way H treats me is totally different, he is no longer on the defense, there is newfound respect and caring that has been very absent. Everyone says to 'let go' and move on, but honestly, it just won't happen until we are ready. I am ready to let him go, if he needs to go.