Neecy, I would stop snooping. I know you want to know. But it seems like going down cheeseless tunnels. Grilling him is not going to get you closer to R. Then again, him staying in contact with OW is not either. Contacting her from the computer is pretty sneaky.
He says he loves you and wants the M. Doing counseling. They no longer work together. Those are good signs.
You want to be the person he wants to be with. If you continue to snoop, and confront him, you're driving him away. You can't control what he does. I know you don't want to live like this so what do you do?
You could reaffirm your boundaries. Tell him if he really wants the M, the only way to begin R is to cut off all contact with OW. Until he does that, you're not R. And anytime you find out that he has broken your trust again, the R timeline is set back to zero.
Get back to DB 101. Think of some goals. Work on yourself and GAL. I bet if you would stop confronting your H, you'll see a difference in him.
