Doing This all Wrong!! HELP

[water2moon]

Thank you Joie, We have been togther 14 1/2 yrs.We have a 12 yr old and 10 yr old. I appreciate your advice. It seems as though my biggest problem is obsessing about this.I can't seem to do anythign else but think about what happened and snoop online and go through his things, bills, receipts etc just to dig up more info.Some of her Texts have shaken me to the core. i didn't enjoy reading how she told me that She is is Heart and they would die without each other.I realize it will take a long time for me to let these things go( if ever) It also hurts knowing that he feels our marriage is dead right now and that he loves me but is no longer in love with me. A couple of weeks ago we did seem to get a little closer and there was one night where we did have relations, maybe i'm crazy or trying to read into it too much but I could swear that he seemed to be very into it at first but then seemed to not be as much as though he felt guilty that he was being unfaithful to the OW. Then he told me a few days later that i forced him to do it.??? This boggles me..he didn't act like he was forced