Partner left after 9 years - now we're friends??

[AliSuddenly]

Hi Jeff and IMP! Well, thanks Essie, its so hard to look at it that way, then it really is OVER. I suppose the crying today is another wave of pain of facing up to that. I miss him so much today. I feel so betrayed, how could he just walk off like that, without a 2nd chance or backward glance? Its as unbelievable now as it was the day he did it. Its agonising. I have been very patient and I am amazed at the progress to date, I am, its just, maybe this is all there is. There doesnt seem to be any sign that he has any doubts or misses me.

I did just text him back 1/2 hour ago. I made some jokey remark about the film last night, dropped a line in from Shaun of the Dead (if anyones not seen that film, go rent it, its hilarious!) and just said, enjoy the rugby if you are watching it.

I didnt say...yes, speak to you over the weekend, as it is already the weekend and that would sound daft. So again, I guess I just have to wait and see. He has had a jam packed one so far though, movie and a drink after last night, pub all day with another friend today and evening, watching Rugby. So I wouldnt be surprised if he wants a day to himself tommorow. But, we still havent discussed the mortgage! He did send me the options, but we havent agreed on one, or phoned them to apply for it ! And I am away Tuesday for 5 days.

I feel very down today. I've been driving around shopping and everywhere reminds me of him. We came here for holidays and it was a big decision to move here, for me, it was about enjoying him all to myself for a bit, in a beautiful setting, before moving back in a few years (as he has SOOO many friends back home).

I was waiting for the eclipse to bring something, it either means final endings and closure, or fresh beginnings..well right now it feels like closure, that we've gone as far as we will and thats as far as he is prepared to go. Hes very slow to make his mind up about things, and when his mind is made up, thats it (he actually said that at the bomb, you know what I am like, he said, I didnt take this decision lightly and I'm not going to change my mind...) Looks like he was right.

I should apologise to anyone reading this, I'm whingeing on and being a "poor me" but I just feel upset and lonely, I stupidly hoped this recent increased contact was heading somewhere, but that hasnt materialised?