Kim, I think you're so brave to post here as many times people who are the OP get blasted. I commend you for that and think it shows how serious you are. Especially since you have ended it with the OM.
If the C you are seeing doesn't seem to be cutting it for you after another session or two, find another! I ditched my first one.
It's good that you were able to talk small-talk with your H at dinner. It's a good way to reconnect and find yourselves again. But to really and truly R, you may want to fully disclose the extent of your A. I know it's a scary thought.
As much as my H's A hurt me, it was like a 911 wake-up call for me. I knew we had problems but had not faced them. The A made me do it. Today we're well on the way to reconciling. I wish it had not happened this way but that's water under the bridge. Yes, it's going to hurt your H. And it will make things rough for him. But honesty is necessary in a R. And in the long run, it should help your R.
Keep up with the small steps. So far you're doing great.
