When my husband was in his anger stage, he said some of the meanest things one could ever say to a child. Sometimes he was drunk and other times he was not.
He and I discussed this a few months ago and he DOES NOT remember saying those things and he was crushed when I told him that, yes, he did say those things.
It is as if a demon has entered into them and taken over at that stage.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Age appropriate maybe but it's all the same..my biggest fear in all of it is that he will get her pregnant..I have a 21 year old daughter and she will disown him...and I will never speak to him again..really...that would be the nail in the coffin....they are off in their own world and all they are thinking with is, well...you know....they have no common sense anymore..
And why, why, would they want to give up the comforts of their own home, their own bed, their wife of so many years, their kids..I don't think I will ever understand it....my H and I have been together since I was 14..got married at 20...he has been my life for 29 years...and he wants to know what that's got to do with anything...
He always says. "why does it matter anymore", it matters to me...do they realize they are tearing us apart inside...and why don't they care..Snodderly, YR, Sf...Why??
MY H also is a big arrogant, and has never apologized for anything, not even when the OW, XH came to my door,,,,H told me her H was psycho...what??? not so psycho...he put a tracking system on her car and that is how he found them....OW XH wanted to kill my H...so, as far as him waking up and feeling bad, and that he has made a mistake...well, I don't see that happening at all...sometimes I wish he was like some of these others and would admit he's having internal issues, that he feels bad, and he's sorry for hurting me...I don't think he feels it...His mom doesn't believe he would ever be with another woman...Hah...he's an angel....wow...NOT!
I have never called OW, or anything...I'm not stooping to their level...why give them the satisfaction that they have really hurt me with this...my H knows...he saw my face that day...I hope it never leaves him...I hope when he looks at her he sees the pain in my eyes...cause when he looks me in the eye I see pain in his...but it is his own pain...I'm still the loving, caring person I always was, probably more so now...
I do pray every day, for him, for me, for my new life...for my kids that they are permantly damaged from all this, etc..
At this point my D15 doesn't even want him home..she feels betrayed and doesn't even know about OW..D21 doesn't even want to see his face..he doesn't even call her..S10 is just too young to understand, and he's a mamma's boy. He loves his dad but in the end would be right by my side...I am thankful for such wonderful children and I tell them so regularly, and my D15 says, I'm strong, and I did everything I could, she is grateful I am her mom...that makes it all worth it...
((hugs))
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese: Remember that they think of no one but themselves at that stage. You and your family are not a priority any longer in his mind.
When all is said and done and he comes out of this, he may tell you how painful it is to see what he has done. My H is telling me how painful it is for him because of what he has done.
You have lots of questions asking why but I think you are realizing that you and the kids are not important to him at this moment.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sf; My H is never drunk...so I have nothing to blame it on...hopefully it's just the demon.. He works so much and is always tired..He's trying to live so many lives..it's just the one that shouldn't be suffering is suffering the most...I hope he comes to his senses some day...and for his sake, I hope he really doesn't remember saying any of it...but he tells me all the time,,"how many times to I have to tell you, "I'm not in love with you"..now that hurts...and...I DON'T BELIEVE HIM..
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese: Remember that they think of no one but themselves at that stage. You and your family are not a priority any longer in his mind.
When all is said and done and he comes out of this, he may tell you how painful it is to see what he has done. My H is telling me how painful it is for him because of what he has done.
You have lots of questions asking why but I think you are realizing that you and the kids are not important to him at this moment.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sf; My H is never drunk...so I have nothing to blame it on...hopefully it's just the demon.. He works so much and is always tired..He's trying to live so many lives..it's just the one that shouldn't be suffering is suffering the most...I hope he comes to his senses some day...and for his sake, I hope he really doesn't remember saying any of it...but he tells me all the time,,"how many times to I have to tell you, "I'm not in love with you"..now that hurts...and...I DON'T BELIEVE HIM..I think OW is telling him things to do and say...for heaven's sake she is feeding him info on separation, divorce, 50/50 custody, all of it...it blows my mind...he wants to go to a mediator, cause she did, because it's cheaper...sorry....I'm getting a lawyer...I've already talked to one and got some advice..he hasn't said anything lately, don't know if he's been doing anything towards it or not but I don't even bring it up...I will contest whatever he does...He's not thinking properly...he's nuts..
Treese
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese: Remember that they think of no one but themselves at that stage. You and your family are not a priority any longer in his mind.
When all is said and done and he comes out of this, he may tell you how painful it is to see what he has done. My H is telling me how painful it is for him because of what he has done.
You have lots of questions asking why but I think you are realizing that you and the kids are not important to him at this moment.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sf; My H is never drunk...so I have nothing to blame it on...hopefully it's just the demon.. He works so much and is always tired..He's trying to live so many lives..it's just the one that shouldn't be suffering is suffering the most...I hope he comes to his senses some day...and for his sake, I hope he really doesn't remember saying any of it...but he tells me all the time,,"how many times to I have to tell you, "I'm not in love with you"..now that hurts...and...I DON'T BELIEVE HIM..I think OW is telling him things to do and say...for heaven's sake she is feeding him info on separation, divorce, 50/50 custody, all of it...it blows my mind...he wants to go to a mediator, cause she did, because it's cheaper...sorry....I'm getting a lawyer...I've already talked to one and got some advice..he hasn't said anything lately, don't know if he's been doing anything towards it or not but I don't even bring it up...I will contest whatever he does...He's not thinking properly...he's nuts..
Treese
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Also remember that they do things they would not normally do such as very heavy drinking, drugs, etc.
Try and think of OW as an escape as she means nothing. She may not be pumping anything into his head because his behavior is in line with many other MLCers.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Maybe he is drinking and I just don't know it cause I dont talk to him, maybe that's why he looks like crap...he felt comfortable enough to come in the other night and eat something and fall asleep on my couch..I of course didn't make a deal of it at all...acted like it was another day....that was so hard...but I did it...and I was so proud of myself...
And if it wasn't about the OW, wouldn't he be seeing different one and not sticking with the same one for 1 1/2 years now?
Treese
Last edited by Treese; 02/23/0801:39 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
