Time for truth and honesty for a new beginning

[ediemarie]

For he is attacking me he truly want s me to break and give in, but i will not.

Bear - how long are you willing to put up with this power struggle? How long are you going to keep pulling at H. Bear, I did this, too. From 6/06 to 11/07. That was almost a year and a half. Our M did not get better until I let go. Until I stopped pulling at him. Here is a visual my C shared with me:
Imagine a mother pulling a child up by his arms, as the child pulls away. If the mother lets go of the child, what will happen to that child?
There are several things that could happen to that child. The child could fall back and land on the ground and cry, but would eventually gather himself together and get up on his own, or be willing to have help to do so. The child could run away, but would eventually come back. The child could stand up on his own and hold his mother's hand. But the child will do none of that if the mother is continually pulling at the child while the child wants to do something else entirely.

Now, I know that your H is not a child and you are not his mother, but these same visuals apply to any power struggle and sweetie, you are in a major power struggle in which you are pulling at your H big time. He won't leave the house, so you know he still wants you somewhere in his life. This is a good thing. Now let go. Stop thinking about him. Stop asking to go along with him. Stop whispering in his ear. Deliver the consequence he is asking for - space. Yes, it will be painful. But you have to stop the power struggle. In your mind you need to come to grips with the fact that you two are business partners (in that you own a home together) that live under the same roof. Be as cordial to him as you would a business partner. Don't be mean, don't be angry. Detach completly from H.

You can do this Bear!
Em