So one other small thing I didn't mention. Don't know if it matters. I have kept my ring on this whole time. Took it on and off for a day at a time in the early stages of finding out about OW. But told H after first MC appointment in Dec. "I am married to you now and want to stay married to you. I am leaving my ring on until such time as we actually divorce. Up until that point I am your wife and always will be". H has not been wearing ring since early December.
Well, when MC asked H at the appt Thursday, "Can/will you address anything on Bobbi's list of needs?" He said "Not yet". She said, "Then can you do the important piece where she needs you to ASK her to be patient and wait for you while you work on things?" He said he couldn't do that,either.
As soon as we got home the ring came off. I told H that I didn't want to take it off, but if he was saying he couldn't/wouldn't do anything to work on the M, I didn't know how to continue feeling like his wife. Today, I realized that is stupid. We ARE still married, we aren't evening using the word "Divorce". And H re-confirmed last night that even the upcoming separation is "unofficial", not legal or binding or permanent. So I put the ring back on. He gets home tomorrow. Should I say something? I just don't want him to get the wrong idea, that I think everything is fine again. He gets concerned/feels cornered when he thinks I think we are making more progress than we actually are. So I don't want him to think I have decided our marriage is perfect, or that he is suddenly going to meet all my needs so I put the ring back on. I put it back on b/c I realized that I DO still love him and want to be married to him. And he never said he didn't want to be married to me (not in a few months, any way). So I want to wear it again. Anyway, just wondered if I should say something to him about it. I don't want to come across as wishy-washy so now I intend to leave in ot unless/until the ink dries on divorce papers...........
