I think I'm done

[Diehard]

I wanted to get that post up because I know what its like to check back every 5 minutes for a reply when your hurting inside. God please continue to hold Ladybugs hand during these rough times watch over her and her children as they endure these hard times. God please reach out to her husband and help him see what he is doing, and the beautiful hearts he is breaking. Amen We are all here for you MS LB

[ms ladybug]

You're right Diehard. Thanks for reminding me of that. It's just hard to understand why God does what he does. I guess it's not for me to question.
Really, as far as my marriage, I can't handle an OW. I just can't. H left a voice message on my phone saying that he "took a drive out of town to have some fun." Whatever that means. I can't help but to think about who he's with. He told me the other night that he'd been talking to his ex-gf because she was really upset that her boyfriend just dumped her. I can put 2 and 2 together.

Wow, it's pretty painful right now.

[Marcum]

Ms L please realize that this to shall pass. All you can do right now is detach. I know that sounds easy but its not. I have really tried to wrap my brain around what to do in my own sich and all I can thing of is thinking of your S as a old friend you used to be close to but you just found out they have a head injury. You were told that this injury will make them do and say funny things, and they won’t realize it no matter what. Only time will bring them out of it if ever.

When you S does something that hurts you or seems really unfair you have to be patient because “ o crap there’s that damn brain thing again.” This can get wearing so after a while you will seek to lessen the amount of time you spend with this friend. They will say things that make no sense and have no reason but to hurt you it seems. But you have to realize they are not the person you know right now. So you forgive them and hope for the best.

Its hard because here’s this old friend who looks and smells and feels like someone you knew but they are not acting in any way like they should. But they may come back. This is why you try to seek them out.

I have talked to a friend of mine when was said that he thinks that even thou my wife and I dated for 5 and a half years prior, he thinks from observations he made that she felt pressured to be married and did it to make her parents happy. When I didn’t become what she envisioned as a perfect husband after our M she grew disillusioned with being married. She just turned 28 and found a group of 24-26 year old friends who are still single at work. One is 26 and just got divorced. These women are in no way good to be around for a W who is unsure about her M. they are biased and a little selfish with my W’s time, which would be fine if they weren’t the SOLE advisers she listens to right now. So in a way I feel my wife is having a mid life crises. She is unhappy about her sich in life and I am the only person to blame.

Just like you are the only person for you H to blame. Does this make any sense…NO. As soon as either of our S found they were unhappy they should have tried to talk to us, and maybe in there own way they did. But do to their “injury” they were unable to communicate it in a way that we could receive.

I admit I have faults and I am working on them every day. That and I am working on wakening up and thinking of my “ old friend” without crying or waves of hopelessness washing over me. All you can do right now is make yourself better. This serves 2 purposes

1. in the best case they are intrigued and want to come back
2. in the worst case you will be stronger if they don’t
This is not easy to do. You want them to reach out to you. But realize that nothing you can say or do will affect your old friend if they don’t want it to. I look at pics of my wife and die on the inside, because my old friend doesn’t exist any more. So I will pray for you and I hope you pray for me that both of or friends come back. Because we both miss them very very much.

[cat03]

sorry to hear that))))))))))))) its part of the maddness & its not about u but about his weakness or character))))

[Diehard]

My W did the same thing as marcum's she started hanging out with single/divorced men hating, damaged ladies and with her mentality that was the worst thing that could have happened. She thinks that being a single mom will be cool, and there is some man out there that will be better for her. Divorce is just too damn accepted these days. She has a long road ahead and a rude awakening and so does everyone else's spouses on here.

[Diehard]

My W did the same thing as marcum's she started hanging out with single/divorced men hating, damaged ladies and with her mentality that was the worst thing that could have happened. She thinks that being a single mom will be cool, and there is some man out there that will be better for her. Divorce is just too damn accepted these days. She has a long road ahead and a rude awakening and so does everyone else's spouses on here.

[ms ladybug]

I talked to him today and confirmed. He took ex-gf for a drive to the mountains, had dinner, played pool, then went back to her place where they played cards until 9am this morning. He says nothing happened, they're just friends. Did I mention she just got dumped by her boyfriend a week ago?
I don't trust him, and told him "a person who wants to work on their marriage (which is what he said he was doing), does not go out with other women."

This was my deal breaker. I'm filing on Monday.

[BobbiJo]

Sorry Ms. Ladybug. I agree, at some point we have to draw a line in the sand. My H was out a couple weekends ago till 4 in the morning "talking" in a car w/ex-OW. Said she was upset that he ended it and he had to make sure she was going to be okay and understood that it was really over. Wonder why he wasn't willing to sit up with me until 4 in the morning and make sure I was okay?

Point is I get that you are at the end of your rope. Maybe filing will get him to snap out of it, if that is what you want. If you just want things to be over, than good luck with that, too. Thinking of you...........

[ms ladybug]

I don't know what I want. Do I want him to "snap out of it"? Do I really want a divorce? Who knows. I know that I'll be OK though. Because, either way, I deserve better.

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((ladybug))))))
however this works out, you can get support here! remember, you don't have to rush anything. I have to say, I find his story a tad hard to believe! Cards til 9 am? Right!