I recently posted my story on the newcomer boards. Lately there have been so many developments but I am acting like a crazy person due to all of the hurt I'm feeling. Found outthat H was keeping his old cell phone so he could continue talking to the OW. I demanded he leave and told Him I wanted him to go to her and trt to live with her and see if this is what he wanted.For 6 weeks he lied to me daily telling me it was over. I was losing my self respect and stopped living.I have never been this depressed. This Wednesday is when i gave him the ultimatum. Get rid of the phone and end this relationship, if not get out and be with her.I also found out he was going to a wedding with her this Sunday instead of going to his nephews Birthday party. I had had enough of the lies. I was cold to him all day ,he kept calling me all day I told him to stop that I needed to forget and move on. Later that evening he called me and told me to listen, that this time it really was over. I wanted so badly to believe him and he sounded sincere but I tild him I needed time. As soon as I hung up I discovered that i had new text messages. It was the OW texting me. He really did tell her that it was over, he told her they had to cease all communication. Needless to say she did not handle this well. She started texting me all night long, 40 in all. What really hurt were the texts she forwarded to me that he had sent her. He seemed to be in deeper than i originally thought. She had a 3 yr old son that my H fell in love with too..he told her he loved her body and soul and so much more. he bought her jewelry and they went on dates.They had breakfast after work almost every morning, they both work midnight shifts. The texting has continued.She is obviously very bitter and angry and sent another 30 this morning. At one point she sent a picture but I deleted it. I really did not need more hurt.He now sees that she is the one who is acting insane, she is hurt becasue he lied to her, he told her we no longer had relations, for years in fact. But this is not true. he told her i was unfaithful, also a lie.She is now saying horrible things about us both and keeps calling H and texting me. So my dilemma?? H is home, he seems sincere, yet I can't get past all of the things he said to her, the way he seemed ot love her more than he did me. I continue to snoop on the new phone, he did get rid of the old one and I continue to cry and wonder if he'll be able to resist her and not go back again. It doesn't help that i keep questioning him constantly and he's getting annoyed. I want him to think he made the right choice by choosing me but i'm messing it up. I've read DR 3 times yet can't apply the priciples. I know I need to be stronger, how do I get past knowing so much more than I ever wanted to know about his A? Those of you who have dealt with similar situations does the pain go away? Can we rebuild? I'm so scared that he'll never love me again. I was never this weak person. i don't recognize myself anymore.
