Mattie, you have a great point about being EEYORE around my kids. I USED to do that a lot, and I’m sure it got them down as well. No more. I talk to them and never mention it. Never ask about “MOM” or how things are at home with “MOM”. I only encourage them and congratulate them on their individual achievements.
I am glad that you are insulating your kids from potential D stuff and that you are not putting them in the middle. I like the way NHill refers to his X as his children's mother. I also like that you are thinking ahead to if the D does go through, how you will interact with your kids and share special occasions with them.
I don't have children myself so that was not an issue during my D. However, my parents are D. And while we were older when our parents D'ed, it still impacted us and my perspective comes a little different angle.
