Wife has filed, and on we go

[grid, lost]

Went to see family doc, my shoulders been hurting since surgery, he thinks I have a torn rotator cuff.

How in the world could you do that much damage to yourself sitting home on rehab from heart surgery???
Secrets???? lol
Mike you do have my sympothies (sp). After your surgery this is just what you need or rather don't need!
Have fun at multi-rehab.
OOPS< last post forgot to mention, I'd like to have a West German working line bred german shepherd. Have always wanted a GSD so since I am not getting younger. Have to wait till my old girl of 9 passes on. Looking for kennels at the present.
grid, lost

[christarn]

Mike, did you have an old rotator cuff injury and surgry just irritate it? The position for surgery can be hard on the shoulders especially when typical bypass lasts 4 hours...good luck with that!! Glad you past your stress and can begin refreeing!! Positive stuff here!! YEAH!!

You will be a busy man, but that is a good thing...keep your mind occupied in positive ways!

You said your coaching went well, I am happy to hear that! Who did you talk to? I talked with Jodi. I still have 2 sessions left, I'm holding onto them like they're my million dollar tickets...I'm waiting to see if I can get a feel for where all of this is going to go. I tried to text the H a couple of times last week, he didn't respond. So I am go to take a step back and not make any contact for a while, let things chill. last i heard from him, he was working 6 10's and said when that was done we would talk about doing something.

take care
christa

[micoms]

Grid,

My shoulder has bothered me since surgery, my cardiologist said it was inflation from the way they had my arm cranked around during surgery. Family doc thinks it's a sprain or torn rotator cuff, He said I already have limited motion so he had me get a MRI now instead of after 6 weeks of therapy. It feels a little better since he gave me a script for anti-inflammatory.

Neighbors had a German Shepard, he looked like the meanest dog in the world. If you called him by his name he turned into a big pussy cat.

Christa,

Good to hear from you, how's your sitch? I didn't have an old injury it irritated, I'm hoping it's just a sprain or inflammation. Doc said my surgery was 5 hours long. Couldn't afford another three months off again.

I talked with Jodi also! She said I need to make a change in my physical appearance. I'm going to shave off my goatee. I don't think the kids have ever seen me with a clean face, it will be interesting to see their reactions. She also said now isn't the time for me to go dark, more contact with W. Calls, texts Emails... I signed up for three sessions also.

W seems to be reconnecting with our S's. She called S26 on the 11th to wish him happy birthday and called him again last night. Twice in a little over a week after having any contact except for Christmas, she never even returned his calls, he had given up calling her. She's also going to S27's house Sat, she went there about two weeks ago. Talked to S27 tonight, he said the last time before these visits she came to his house was in Sept 06. They say in MLC, they reconnect with the kids first, hopefully that is what's taking place. She's poking her head out of the tunnel.

Sounds like your H is busy, probably drained by the time he gets home.make sure when he's done with the OT and you get together get yourself glammed up to impress.

Looking forward to getting back on the field, ran into a soccer parent from my home club, he said that they missed me and the games I called for them. He didn't know how good of a ref I was until I wasn't around. I've signed up for 4 tournaments so far. 2 I'm on a crew, 4 refs take one field and rotate 3 a game. You do three games and one off, then three more.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike...sounds like your W is slowly coming around. Glad you and Jodi's talk went well. I like her, I have went thru 2 sets of 3 sessions already, so I 'm hanging on to dear life to these last 2 sessions...hoping and praying they will be for piecing!!! Only time will tell!

Yes, I agree..I'm sure my H is overwhelmed with work, I've decided to just take some time off, no texts calls etc. He needs to focus on work...maybe he will miss me?! that would be nice!

It's cold and snowy here...gonna snuggle on the couch with the pooches and read...found some new relationship books at barnes and noble...I live a sad life!!!!!!!!!!!

take care
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

We have the white death here also. The media is having a field day tonight. It's a wonder we will survive. We already have 6" and ice is on the way. Watched I Legend tonight with S26.

What has Jodi told you to do? Are you following her advice? I still have 2 sessions left, I will probably use one in a couple of weeks.

Mike

[grid, lost]

I still have 2 sessions left, I'm holding onto them like they're my million dollar tickets...I'm waiting to see if I can get a feel for where all of this is going to go.

christarn,
hi glad to hear you are workng with a coach. LOL I know what you mean by holding on to the last couple for dear life or a million dollars! Same here.
I spoke with Jodi to! she honestly told me what other professionals have said and I have read. Although she made it much easier to understand, explained to me in very simple baby step terms. lol
Good luck with H. OT, will pull all his energy away so he is on empty to even think about R.
grid, lost

[grid, lost]

My shoulder has bothered me since surgery,

Complications of surgery! Ouch! after my neck surgery, the strong antibiotics destroyed bacteria in my gut and when everything restarted the bad bacteria over populated. I ended up in the hospital in isolation for over a week!

Neighbors had a German Shepard, he looked like the meanest dog in the world. If you called him by his name he turned into a big pussy cat.

Yea, good breeding results in good temperments.
I have always wanted a nice GSD. Also since my Big berner male died I have missed the big powerful dog. For a woman having a dog you can walk anywhere @ 2,3, or 4 in morning and be safe is a wonderful feeling! That is another reason want one.
Mike, keep working on W. Do believe things will turn around.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

A little update. Last weekend I went out Friday night, to a bowling alley I used to bowl on Fridays, I taken D24 home from her job. D's BF asked if I was staying for dinner, I said no I was meeting someone for a couple of drinks. Steve has a big mouth you can count on, he said Big Mike has a date. I didn't confirm or deny and was sure W overheard. Well this afternoon I got a call from my best friend, whose W is my W's BF, He said W went over their house and asked him if I was dating someone. He said he hadn't talked to me in a couple of weeks and didn't know. She told him to find out!! I told him what I did and when I got home last Fri I parked my car elsewhere in the neighborhood. W told him she drove by the house at 5:30 AM on her way to work Sat and my car wasn't in front of the house!!! A little jealousy maybe? I told my F what business is it of hers, she wants a D, am I supposed to just sit around the house the rest of my life.

Tomorrow night I might see if aunt wants to see a movie, make sure it's a chick flick. So if W or D's ask what I saw, they would never think I'd go see a chick flick on my own. Going to follow coaches advice, beard coming off tonight. If W asks why I cut it off I'm going to say someone wanted to see what I'd look like without it. Won't tell her that someone is me. I don't think the kids can remember me with a clean face. It's always been a neetly groomed full beard or goatee for tears. I used to shave it off in the summer and stopped for some reason.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike, my gosh it has been so long since I talked with her...I think my last session was in Sept. if my memory serves me. She really encouraged me to let go of the rope. If he pushed or pulled, not to fight it. Just let go. She also wanted him to work more at the R. I jump at any chance to see him, and jump the minute...better yet the second the I see that he texts/calls. She is afraid if I don't/didn't make him work towards me a little, we would end up right back where we were before all of this started. The sad thing is, I am just now getting that! She really wanted to focus on what my 180's are/were at the time. Man, have the changed, so have my goals. The last time I talked with her, we were seeing eachother on averg. of twice a month and talking at least once or twice a week. It's sad that the more time that passes, the further we are a part.

He has asked not to do any dinners until he is done with all the OT. I tried sending a couple simple texts last week. I did not get any response. So I am done initiating contact at least until the month of OT is over. It's going to kill me, but as they say, what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. I am currently getting a list of things together I want to say to him. Things that I regret and should apologize for in our R/M...and where I would like our future to go. It's been at least 6 months since we have talked about our R/M...and I know around here...we are not suppose to do that....but if you knew my h, he would procrastinate until the cows came home. I just really want to see where he stands. If there is a chance or not.

I have done a lot of growing over this 14 months away from him. I have come to a place where I want to grow old with somebody, I want children, I want to come home at night and have dinner with someone and talk about my day, or drink a cold beer. And putting off our lives when we could be working on things, is really starting to take its toll on me. I'm almost 30, and I see all of my friends with kids or pregnant. If I need to get out there and meet Mr. Right and start this dating thing again...and then have kids...I just would rather know...ya know!

I don't want to give up on him, and I pray he tells me he wants to work on things, hell I pray for that night, day, and any free moment I have. I just have hopes and dreams, and want to start living some of them, sooner rather than later!

take care....thanks for the ear!
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

I think I have detached a little more than before. I think in you're sich, you need not to jump when H calls or texts, wait a while before returning a call or text. Hard I know, I've jumped in the past myself. But I see where just what happened last weekend had its effect on the W. If she wants a D why is she so worried if I'm dating or coming home at night. I'm writing this all down in a journal and I have my posts if she wants to get back together and thinks my dating is preventing her from doing so.

I know H's OT is probably wiping him out, I've done it in the past. Running calls is part of my job, years ago we had a contract where the office guaranteed OT repairs. I'd get 2 or 3 hours of sleep 2 or 3 nights a week, went on for three years.

Do you have keys to his place? Maybe on one of your days off you could make him three or four nights of dinners. Just put them in his fridge or leave them in a cooler with a note if you don't have a key. Don't think this time of year food will go bad in a few hours. Don't know what your weather is like but it's in the single digits here, the food will be frozen by the time he gets home, LOL.

I know your feelings of wanting to grow old with someone, I want to do just that with my W. I told her we were on our way to easy street, I'm making more money that I ever thought I would and with no kids, they are all adults now, we can go on real nice vacations, take weekend trips and other stuff we couldn't afford before. The earlier years were about the kids, now it was to be about us.

I've prayed every night also, I pray god touches her heart and she reconsiders.

Tell you what, lets see I'm an hour ahead of you, tomorrow i'll pop open a beer at 8:00, you pop one open at 7:00 your time an we'll have a beer in different states together!!!

Mike