I'm brand new to piecing. Not even sure if I should be here, but thought I'd try it on for size. Previously I was posting over in infidelity.
I posted this in the "tips", but I think I should have just started my own thread.
I was in emotionally/physically distant M. W finally got sick of it and moved out - later discovered there was a PA followed by EA.
I tried various DR techniques and tried to stay upbeat. Lots of backslides while WAW was all over the place. Finally she said she wouldn't work on M, so I said the R was finally over and goodbye. Then I left for a vacation. She got really upset while I was gone and emailed and called. Said she'd been stubborn, hadn't given me a chance to change, but was willing to give it a try. One hitch - she said she couldn't see doing this if we were still living separately.
So 4 days ago, when I got back from vacation, she was still in our house. The first night, when we were supposed to discuss how we were going to work on M, she got major cold feet. I just tried to validate, holding her while she cried and asked herself what was wrong with her and why couldn't she choose. She brought up D again. I told her she shouldn't stay if she didn't want the R. She got up and started packing - I asked her not to do that - she said I told her to leave (?), so I took the bag out of her arms and hugged her. She stayed.
Since then, I've tried being upbeat and loving, but she's withdrawn. We're acting like roommates, which was the problem before, except I'm trying to give a lot more physical contact than I did before. She doesn't really respond, but has been open and acted like we have a connection - like she can trust me. Even said she was going back to her aunt's to get more clothes (but not that she was moving back in for good).
She hasn't made moves towards leaving, although she did say something about re-evaluating in a couple of days. Am I doing the right thing? Should I just keep pursuing my life and reaching out to her now and then? Am I going crazy by thinking we're piecing?
So confused. Thanks for any thoughts you have. lodo
