This is where my old self would say "I'll bet she did".
But my new self is above that
The journal thread might be an interesting surprise. I hope we all get to observe you in the fish bowl. Maybe we will even get to toss in some crumbs of advice now and then, or Doodles.
Well, I went and did it! Even though I guess I'll have an "official" partner, I really don't want the rest of you to leave me! I'll probably bounce things around here before and after I post them there, or something. It's an experiment, we shall see what happens!
Last night W went on a rant, but I really tried to listen carefully. It jumped back and forth between being personal, and not, I think she was using the personal to illustrate the general, and it wasnt' meant to be taken personally.
Anyway, she started her new career as an ICU nurse last fall. So, in the past 5 or six months she has gotten a pretty high level of exposure to the most unhealthy amongst us. What she has seen has convinced her that as a country, ad probably a world, we will probably see life expectancies go down in the near future. Because she is seeing a lot of younger people dying from diseases that we associate with older folks, with obesity being a huge factor. And she sees that there are a lot more obese kids around now then there were when we were young. So, all of that is pretty logical, but she brings in my health, and my parents' to try to solidify her argument. The thing is, while I should lose a bit of weight, I am not in the boat she is referring to. Usually I would have gotten defensive, but I think I managed to realize that while she was talking about me, I don't think she was talking about ME. So maybe I did a bit better. She continued into a bit of a rant about the environment, as well, and pointed out that I haven't fixed the clothesline that we had been using to dry towels and sheets on, tha has been broken for a couple months. I tried not to get defensive there, either, I said I should have, and that I would try to do it this weekend.
But, what this whole discussion made me see is that she is clearly a glass half empty person, and I am much more a glass half full person. I think that remembering this might help me get through some of her "lectures" better. I just need to figure out the right tools!
I am not in the boat she is referring to. Usually I would have gotten defensive, but I think I managed to realize that while she was talkingabout me, I don't think she was talking about ME.
Yes, Yes, she was, i'm guessing.
you may not be on the "critical" level of the spectrum, but she is telling you, "you should do it to improve your health".
I think it's important for you to listen even more carefully to what she is saying, and stop deflecting/ignoring/discounting what she is saying. It's good that you decided not to take offense about it. Now, how about actually paying attention to it?
On the positive side of things: She cares enough about your health, to bug you about it! I think that's a really nice thing.
Quote:
But, what this whole discussion made me see is that she is clearly a glass half empty person, and I am much more a glass half full person. I think that remembering this might help me get through some of her "lectures" better. I just need to figure out the right tools!
I think the rights tools are easy to find: Do what you just did about the clothesline: Listen to her complaint. Acknowlege that it is a problem. Tell her what you plan to do about it, and when. Way to go!
Keep doing that for a month, and I betcha you will see a slightly happier person living with you
Last edited by Dom R; 02/21/0806:51 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
Hey DH, I think too it was nice she shows concern about your health. You handled that all pretty well!
What does it take to fix the clothesline? When it breaks and drops all your clean clothes on the ground you put up new string. Is that a mans job and W can't do it? Ok, got that out of the way so now I can say I can relate to how she feels about the laundry stuff. Your W is very cost conscious. If the clothes line can't be used then I assume you have to use the dryer? the dryer costs a lot to run (much more than a closet light bulb), and everytime she has to use the dryer she starts brewing and stewing about that clothesline that YOU haven't fixed yet.
Way back in the days when I did H's laundry or he did his own at home, he didn't like it that I hung the clothes out on the line to dry. I didn't like it that he used the dryer all the time. We just did things different I thought. But for him he solved the problem his way - Now I don't know where he does his laundry, heck I don't even know where he keeps his clothes! I'm just saying if I had ever had a clue that a difference of opinion in drying inside or outside would be a factor in how my life is now I would have been easily swayed to think different. It was just another straw that H used to make the load heavy...
Point of the story? fix the clothes line. Hang a note on it when you're done 'honey, didn't intend to ignore this for so long but now we can HANG OUT again!' (get it, hang out, clothes line, laundry,... play on words)
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
((((WCW)))) I saw your post today on your thread! I am rarely at a loss for words, but you saw what I posted! I don't know how you go in, I really don't!
The clothesline will be a little more challenging, it is one with the post in the middle that slides up and down. The contraption that keeps it up failed. I just need to do a little drilling, and find a bolt to stick through it, I think. I might get more clever, but that should do it. Like you said, she could have done it too, but that isn't the point, is it! I think I will get it done Saturday.
I might just use that note. The reaction might be worth it! If there was one!
Darn it! (((((Lisa))))) Looking for a party, with brownies, and I was working! And now it is late over there! But here is a tidbit of interesting news:
There is a chance, probably pretty small, that I may be able to get a three month assignment in Uxbridge! I'm trying to figure out how to approach W on this topic, I think I'll start with sort of a "what would you think if..." sort of approach! I think that the time apart might be a good thing, and I like it over there, besides! I expect any extra money would get used up by flying the rest of the family over for a week or two before I came home! I'm sure S10 would like to go up to Lincoln and see where he was born. But, I am counting my chickens way before they hatch. They really want active passports, and mines expired. I'm going to send it in tomorrow, with extra money, figuring that I'll get it back before they have to decide anything. I hope!
