However, from reading your thread she does not sound unintelligent. If she's introspective at all, on some level she's aware what she's doing. She may not know why. It's like a form of self sabotage. for example, I say I want to lose weight and then go and stick a cupcake in my mouth. Then on top of that beat myself up mentally. At some point I need to look at what that cupcake is doing for me int that moment that allows me to sacrifice my larger goal. I really don't think I'm being overly optimistic to think that at some point most people look at this stuff. That's when the regret comes in. Maybe my age is showing here. I don't know.
Grace, thanks for the comment. I think you are correct! She is not unintelligent. In fact I always thought of her as very bright and intelligent. She recently hasn't felt the same way. She made comments regularly about being "not smart enough" or "not smart anymore". We got my son a nintendo DS - a handheld electronic game for his 12th bday. With it came a game called "Brain Quest" - it is quizzes and word puzzles and things. Supposed to keep you sharp. I read that it is being used by retired persons to stay sharp, kind of like Sudoku and crossword puzzles, but it is electronic. Anyway, my wife commented that maybe she should play it to get smarter.
This is the same woman who ran our family finances for years, who plans our vacations, who worked with me on our wills and on our financial plan just 12 months ago. This is the same woman who keeps all the doctor appointments - pediatricians, eye doctors, orthodontists, and more - for four kids. She files our taxes and runs the household. Just 2 years ago she undertook and completed a volunteer project in which she conceived a plan to build a new town park, solicited donations, interviewed vendors, got matching funds from government grants and corporate donors, organized and held fundraising events, assembled a volunteer workforce, and actually oversaw installation of the new park.
I know that as Bomb said, it's not the lack of intelligence that is preventing them from seeing what they are doing - it is the adolescent mind.
But it is kooky to observe.
It's really like she has lost her mind. My company relocated my family in the past year - and covered much of the relocation expense. As part of that they paid me the "Tax gross up". So if the cost of the move was, let's say, $30,000, and there is a 33% tax rate, my company actually paid me $40,000, so I could cover the taxes.
This was a one-time special compensation for me, related to the relocation. It was actually more than $40,000, but it illustrates the point.
In Wifey's divorce filing, she actually states that all of my income for the year was "Regular income" and she projects that I will continue to receive that income in the future, and in fact I am receiving it even now. As a result of this income, we have plenty of money for me to get a new apartment, and pay her lots of money for her own new place to live. Somehow she has completely forgotten about the one-time nature of the relocation compensation. It's over and done. We never got the money. Sure, we benefited from it, but it went directly to the moving company and to the real estate company for commissions. it never went in our checking account. Somehow she thinks maybe I've been socking money away, hiding it from her? She thinks my paycheck is a lot larger than it really is.
There is more un-reality stuff like this in her filing. It makes me think, she is not herself. She is not making sense. She is missing some basic facts. Maybe she really is going dumb, just like she suspected.
She is in for a very rude awakening at some point. I hope it is not too late. (sounds like that Nora Jones song....)
