Well this weekend is the XW's turn to have D12. I have been asking for info on when and where she wants to pick up D12 and have gotten exactly zero info. So today D22 calls me and as we are chatting she tells me "mom" is picking up D12 Friday night from my house. I don't mind her picking up D12 from here but you would at least think she could have told me that!
Anyway, depending on GF's schedule for the weekend we may stay in town and go to a basketball game or head to the beach. I am hoping for the beach because it may be a while before we get to go again any time soon.
Me 45 WAW 46 Married 23yrs D22 S18 D12 W moved out 1/12/07 Divorce Final 2/06/08
Now is the time for you to tell your GF that is what you want to do. She can't read your mind. Believe me when I tell you this -she WANTS you to take the lead here and tell her that is what you wish.
this is a good weekend for you Fender. You don't know how many you will have once the new job starts. The beach is close. Your daughter will be with her mom, prices are low this time of year. You two may become closer. The beach is sexy Fender. I myself haven't been there in years because X and I used to go. But I should. So you go and take GF with you.
HT, I have been telling her I would prefer to go the beach instead of staying in town and going to the game. It all depends on her work schedule.
And now I seem to have made an error in judgment. It started innocently enough. I texted GF and asked her if she wanted to meet for a beer after she got off of work? We often do this on Thursdays. She replied "still working, going to get off late." I took this as a no.
So I decide to go out to the place we frequent in hopes she may come by anyway. I sit alone and have a couple of beers. She calls and I tell her I am there. The first thing she does is say "I will let you go." I told her no, we can talk. Well she chats for about a minute and then says she is heading home.
I remembered something I needed to ask her and called her back. She seemed a little short with me. She mentioned she hadn't had anything to eat most all day. I told her I had left the bar and why did she not tell me she was hungry earlier when she first called? She said and I quoute, "I didn't know I was invited." I told her she was always invited as far as I am concerned. There is no one I would rather spend time with except my kids.
WTF, I had already texted her earlier and asked her out. She pretty much said no and then when she finds out I went out anyway she gets upset.
I tried to call her back and she wouldn't answer the phone. I left her a message telling her I was sorry she misunderstood, that I only went out in hopes she would drop in anyway.
Just a bummer of a night now.
Me 45 WAW 46 Married 23yrs D22 S18 D12 W moved out 1/12/07 Divorce Final 2/06/08
a confession here... I am just like your girlfriend
for me, anyway, it would be snarkiness because i was jealous that you got to go out and I wanted to go with you and now it looks like you had a fine time without me (pout)
for real
I suck
but that is how I would have reacted too
and
sometimes I know I am acting that way and so i wouldn't answer the phone...not because I was mad at you but because I felt like a sniveling twit and didn't want to embarass myself further
Wow. GF thing is a tough one. Have you two talked this out? IMHO this is unacceptable treatment, after 24 hours, I would definitely be talking about it.
But then again, I'm a hard a$$ since the divorce. If I know something is wrong and a man chooses to avoid me rather then talk about it, or 'punish me' for a misunderstanding or taking some time for myself, that shows insecurity. And a lack of respect. I can't take the drama.
I too sometimes have a grueling schedule. But then sometimes I just take a day or an afternoon off. Like today!
Balance. I'm trying to teach myself better to have balance in my life. Too much work makes me cranky as it does anyone.
Fender, one of the things I did after the D was to make myself a list of the things that are most important to me in relationships. Maybe you should write yours down too. High on my list are:
Be certain the person you're having an R with is truthful/honest and give them the same back
Don't take blame for things you don't do, but take blame graciously for the things you are responsible for within 24 hours.
So maybe you should give her 24 hours and see if she gives you a head up on what was really wrong.
