Help Me Act AS IF, Part 3

[newnamenewlife]

Feeling crappy again today. It snowed and we took the kids sledding with some friends. I always find H sexy when we do outdoorsey things together and it was killing me. I wanted to hug and kiss him. We used to ski a lot before we had kids and it was so romantic and fun. I feel really, really sad. He seems completely unsentimental about our past, sees it all as negative.

Emailed with Hs mom yesterday. I hadn't talked about with her at all , but I know he has said something to her about what's going on. She told me how awful she feels, how worried for us and the kids, how she can't sleep and how she wishes she could think of something to do to help.

I am going out tonight with a friend, but it just feels lonely without H's love and interest. Even if/when I can let go of him, I honestly don't know how I will ever be able to truly forgive him for hurting me like this.