I also am astounded that your D8 had to hear his yelling, etc. What a horrible thing for a parent to do. He said he was in control but obviously he wasn't.
Don't regret calling the OW. Just remember, it's not over until it's over. He thinks life with OW is going to be better? Doubtful! Plus, it sounds like she has major hurtles to cross too (of moving out of her own house). And what about her kids? Is she planning on taking them? Do they think everything is going to magically fall into place for them? Fantasy!
Puppy is right, you may not even want him or the M if he goes ahead with this plan. Only you can decide that.
I can imagine how hurt, angry and depressed this had made you. Detach! You need to be the stable parent for your kids. Concentrate on them and the work on the play. Don't concern yourself with him or his actions. Don't beg or plead. Act like he's already gone.
