I know you are hurting, but trust me, in time the hurt will pass, you will meet a new girl and you will be very happy. This one is not for you! If you are having these kind of problems now, can you imagine what things would be like if you got married?
Nightmare!
You are the lucky one, her evil side appeared BEFORE you got married. She has done you a huge favor.
For most of us, our spouses changed radically during the marriage. They morph into a completely different person. Most of this is brought on by mid-life crisis, a lack of true family values and an inability to have a long term intimate relationship.
Congratulations Nate --- you will never experience the pain of divorcing Amy.
I know you are hurting, but trust me, in time the hurt will pass, you will meet a new girl and you will be very happy. This one is not for you! If you are having these kind of problems now, can you imagine what things would be like if you got married?
Nightmare!
You are the lucky one, her evil side appeared BEFORE you got married. She has done you a huge favor.
For most of us, our spouses changed radically during the marriage. They morph into a completely different person. Most of this is brought on by mid-life crisis, a lack of true family values and an inability to have a long term intimate relationship.
Congratulations Nate --- you will never experience the pain of divorcing Amy.
But I am not minimizing your pain - I understand.
Go have fun
Fish
I really appreciate your support fish...it means a lot and helps me tremendously. I just hope I am not painting Amy in too much of a negative light. I have tried to be as objective as possible and I totally take responsibility for my part in the situation. I am working on myself and will continue to do so...
Maybe I have just been looking at the positives in the relationship and not the negatives....almost the opposite of what she is doing.
Is she really unstable?
Nate
Last edited by nate75; 02/19/0802:12 AM.
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
She has a history of drug-use, threesome, and domestic violence. She punched you, and kicked you in the nuts. At the age of 34 she is frequenting bars like a 21 yr old. In 2 years she has had 7 different jobs and changed her major 5 times.
Is she really unstable? Dude, open your eyes.
I don't want to minimize your pain, but your better off without her.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Thanks to all for your feedback...it really helps me out on the rough days.
I have been working on myself. I have continued going to therapy and have begun to entertain the possibility that Amy may have had a drinking problem. In light of this I attended my first Al-Anon meeting last night.
I also want to work on why this relationship ended like my last relationship...sudden and quick. It makes me feel like I am more responsible that I probably am.
I am also taking ownership for the fact that I have codependent tendencies and have begun reading the book Codependent No More.
I received "the bomb" 15 days ago and I have been strong and not initiated contact with Amy once. Unfortunately, she has refused to do the same (except for "business" emails). I know that I must continue to remain strong and not initiate contact with her. That has to come from within her.
Nate
Last edited by nate75; 02/20/0810:42 PM.
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
Amy is doing you a favor not making contact with you. If she contacts you and wants you back you are going to have sex with her and then fall right back into the pit.
Yes, Amy has a drinking problem, yes, amy has had a drug problem and a violent temper. It's not you. You are gravitating towards women that must be saved. STOP
You do not need Al-Anon.
I want you to go on the Yahoo personals right now and find a chick.
Well that didn't go as I hoped...I went to go pick up my mail that had been delivered prior to my address change. In the pile of mail I saw a box of checks with Amy and a new guy's name.
She has already opened a joint checking account and apparently moved in with a new guy....a little over 2 weeks after calling off the wedding and breaking up with me.
CRUSHED....
Nate
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
You have got to be kidding me. I am not trying to belittle what you are going thru, but this seems like one of those post that is made up to make people feel better about what is going on with them.
You are not married to this woman. She is treating you this way now and you are worried about working it out with her. Come on man. Either you are making this up or you need to realize how lucky you are to be out of this. She already ordered checks with another's man name on them. Feel lucky. There is another woman out there that will give you better sex than she did. that has to be what it was. Right?
Nate, I think it is time to realize that you have susccessfully dodged a huge bullet! You have most likely been spared real serious misery. You should send her a thank you note!
YOU THINK I AM MAKING THIS UP!?!??!?! THIS IS A LOAD OF CRAP MAN...I AM DYING HERE AND YOU THINK I WOULD LOWER MYSELF TO MAKE THIS KINDA CRAP UP???? THAT IS BS!!!!!!!
NATE
Me: 32 X Fiancee: 34 Bomb: 2/5/08 Separated: 2/6/08
Nate - I agree. As much as this hurts now, you have just dodged a MAJOR bullet!!!!! This woman is an unstable, unfaithful whack-job and you should be SO thankful you didn't go through with the marriage.
Trust me, you can do SO much better - IF you deal with your white-knight syndrome issues so you pick better next time.
