Wow~ Thanks Cog .. It is like I am always waiting for him to blow and that is why it is hard to even enjoy the good. You seem to know me so well and even my H's behavior. I still went to my Zumba class and I am trying to keep my chin up but I am very emotional.
I read today when leaving the Y on a church display.....
God loves you and he forgives you , yes even for that ... and it made me cry, the people driving next to me probably thought I was nuts....
I used to pray I did not love him so much so it wouldnt hurt when he was cruel. Know what ? It still hurts...........and yes somedays I do feel ready to just say to h*ll with this and me trying so hard .... he always lets me know in his eyes that I fall short and it does get tiring....... How can you be so cruel to someone you say you love so much?
I dunno the answers and at this point I just need to keep my chin up like you said and stop worrying about this... I feel sad and feel like this is always going to be and I dunno if I can take these blowups or why I got sucked into it.... UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH~ God bless, ~Ali PS thanx for your post I needed that soooooooooo much. Love, ~Ali
