I think that quote is perfect and I will try to work that in to our conversation. I have not heard from him still today, it is his first day of work in a week and a half, he knows I will be at home tonight. Is it pushy/needy to call/text to see how his day is going or to touch base?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Well I did it and got no response which leaves me wondering if he just isn't responding or does not have the opportunity or even his phone on him. We have never texted before the last few days and they were all initiated by him(and he has not been at work) so I would know he was there when I responded.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Returned home last night. Out of curiousity clicked redial on the phones, 2 were to OW cell phone one with call blocking on(she still will not pick up). When H came home I asked him why I came back, he said I said in the text - the text was come home and we can try to make this work. I used the quote that JAK had mentioned. He said ok but it was really less than convincing. I asked about the calls and he said he is just trying to get an answer as to what went down at work and what was said that he wants to hear it from her. A few days previous he was insistant he needed to go to her house to discuss, last night he said he will talk to her at work when her staff is not around he just wants to speak to her in person to see if she is telling the truth. Then we went on to normal talk, when we don't talk about her everything seems great. I mentioned the different pieces of lingerie I had recently bought(while I thought this was over and I was being really green grass) and asked him which he liked best. He said I don't know bring them out here and show me. So I grabbed a bunch, plus my catholic shcool girl kilt(which I again fit into) and he thought i should try on the kilt just to show him, not as exciting as you might think!! We laughed. So he picked his fave and asked if I could wear it last night. I said I thought you were sick? Yes but still interested. So I did and we did and had a great time. Is this cake-eating or is this me getting along really well with my husband in a way that we can connect in the midst of all the confusion and turmoil that is going on around us?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I kind of thought that would be the repsonse I get. What am I supposed to be doing, is it not ok if I am interested in it as well, I am doing it for myself and him. I want to feel closer and the connection? I want him to look at me the way he does when we are interacting this way(either the flirting or the LM) instead of arguing. Or am I hurting progress?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Only time will tell weather he's cake-eating or not. I think they all do for a while when they are so confused but we still need to act as if and give it time. Remember OW is a symptom and not the cause. Try not to bring her up all of the time. By bringing her up you are keeping her fresh in his mind. last night you were someone he couldn't resist and thats great.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Thank you for that, I think one of our issues was that I did not initiate and flirt enough so I would hope that this is a step in the right direction. Foreplay in our house used to consist of whether or not H was lying naked on top of the covers when i came out from doing my nightly rituals.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
and thats great.