Listening for surprises...

[ediemarie]

Hi Appleroad - thanks for swinging by! I appreciate your input.

Insist on you rights -- in your mind, no need to verbalize this to H, only to yourself. Stop giving away your care and affection, it sounds like it's going into a black hole.

I certainly don't feel like my care and affection is going into a black hole. I don't feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting. I actually feel pretty satisfied in the majority of the areas in our R. Perhaps I'm deluding myself...I'll give it some thought.

H is coming across as a baby, as a sensitive invalid. It's time for him to "man-up".

this has been my theme song since this situation began. He needs to man up. In the past, in moments of anger I have even said these very words to H. However, this has to be something he wants to do and he HAS to do it. You can't force someone to man-up. It has to come from within. This has been struggle in our M. How do you coax/cojule/demand/force someone to man up. I don't believe it's possible. Please enlighten me as to how to make this happen...

He needs something more than a safe environment.

Any ideas as to what this might be? Perhaps a personal invitation each and every day? I'm truly at a loss here. I feel like I should know how to make this happen, but I just have no clue. Additionally, I don't think it should be this difficult. It is a never ending cycle. I think about solutions, I try them, they don't work, I get frustrated, feel like I deserve so much more (because I do, in terms of sex) and debate leaving my marriage.

Again, he is completely opposed to any sort of counseling and will not discuss this with me. He physically pushes me away if I make any sort of sexual advance and stonewalls me in conversations. I'm back at wanting to throw in the towel and just remains friends...yuck.

thanks for the thoughts!
Em