No children to draw him back.....no what???

[saffie]

I can understand that fear but it isn't the best reason for staying wanting someone is it? That's why I have been asking these questions.

I guess a large majority of us are on here because in some way we were incompatible with our S. I think that most people come here knowing why they want to stand for their M and I just don't get that vibe from you. That's not the same as saying you don't have good reason to do that. I just thought by identifying those reasons, and seeing the good things in your H, you could then try and reach a point where you could try and find a strategy to reach those things in him again.

Personally, the conflict between your H and your child is something that as a mother I know I would struggle with; but having said that, teenagers will find anything to argue with their parents about and maybe him not being the natural father of your D was just an excuse for them to kick off with one another.

It just seems from what you post about your M that things were uneasy in the M for longer than they were good. Don't you deserve better? Isn't life easier without your H there on a day to day basis? I do understand that it must be very lonely - this was something that I was very frightened of myself when I found out about H's A. Luckily I never got to find out how I would cope alone, but I do know that fear is not a good enough reason to stay wanting someone. To keep your M together I think you need to know why you want it.