I can tell you that I totally understand when it comes to wanting a hug from your spouse. A friend of my W's died in a car accident this past week and I gave her a hug when I saw she was tearing up. It wasn't easy for her to do and I got the hint. But I am glad I did it. She needed it and I wanted her to know that it mattered to me that she was hurting. I also could tell that she didn't want it to last very long as she was pulling away almost immediately. Even so, it was a small, short connection.
Today is W's birthday. I have it set up for her to spend time with the kids and for me to be absent. I got her a card and a gift card for Starbucks to help her caffinate through the rest of her final semester before graduation. The card isn't anything mushy and is just signed "Love, Bryan" not ILY.
We had a good couple of phone conversations yesterday and this morning. By that I mean she sounded like she actually WANTED to talk to me not that she HAD to. I still try to be the one who ends the conversation each time. I think I have done that all but one time in the past month. Score one for me....woohoo...LOL.
I have found the more that I take a "hands-off" approach to my W, the more she is willing to talk or be around me. I am here for her and she knows that, but I am butting out. She will eventually figure things out and she doesn't need me telling her what she should do. This is about her, not me. I am getting back into my life and eventually she will decide whether or not she wants to be a part of it. So for now I am feelin' good, lookin' good, and doin' lots of prayin'...LOL.
I hope you have an awesome day Heather. You are making some good moves and in the right direction. Let your H figure things out on his own and you will have him back much quicker than you telling him what he SHOULD do. You are in my prayers.
-Bryan
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
